My mom is a skilled practitioner in not listening to me, and not regarding my plans. Well, I'm sure she not only does it to me, but many countless other people. I'm also sure this is one of the reasons why my dad divorced her.
I don't live with my mom, so any time I do spend with her must be planned out, talked about, and negotiated about between my parents. No lie. If she gets a Sunday during a major holiday, then by golly they get Monday and Tuesday.
But I digress. For the past two times I saw my mom last week I've told her, "Mom, I'm leaving for Oklahoma on Wednesday, then coming back on Sunday." or, "Mom, I'm going to be out of town next Wednesday through Sunday. Don't call Dad asking to talk to me."
In addition to telling her about being out of town, I had asked her when she was taking off work at the hospital so I could come over for a few days to spend time. In fact, I've been asking her since the end of May, "Mom, when are you taking off work? I need to know soon so I can make sure I'm not going on any trips during that time."
Till yesterday I got no real answer on when. She called me yesterday and told me she was taking part of this week off for the Fourth of July and wanted to know if I could come over and spend time, and go to a few parties and filipino BBQ's.
Which resulted in this conversation.
"What do you mean? Why can't you come over? Do you have something planned with your dad?"
"No Mom. No. I told you yesterday, and the day before why I couldn't go. I'm leaving for Oklahoma on Wednesday."
"I don't understand, why are you going to Oklahoma?"
"To look at the Native American stuff Mom. I told you I was going to be gone like at least 5 times."
"Ok, but why can't you come to the party? I thought this would be a good time to spend time together."
"Mom, I TOLD you. Mom, I'll be in OK-LA-HOMA."
"The whole month?!"
"No! Just till Sunday. Is there any chance you can take some other time off work?"
"No, I already requested this time. Are you sure you have to go on your trip now?"
"Yes mom. It's already been planned and everything."
"Well I'm sorry sweetie, I just thought it would be nice to see you on Fourth of July, but I guess you can't come over."
"Ok Mom. Whatever. I have to go. I'll just visit one weekend or something when you're not working. Bye."
This isn't the first time this has happened, and as for the other times it has happened I've had to cancel my plans last minute in order to cater to her standards and schedule. However, I refuse to drop my plans just because she planned something without considering what I was doing at the time.
In the words of the white kid at my school who thinks he's black, "Homie, stuff jus don't fly like dat."
Maybe, next time instead of just telling her, I should send her loud voice mails, and spam her emails so she'll remember.