Saturday, January 31, 2009


1. Each blogger must post these rules first.
2. Each blogger starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Blogger that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their 8 things.
4. At the end of your blog,you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don't forget to leave them a comment, telling them that they've been tagged and to read your blog.

1. Just to spare everyone the pain of being tagged, I won't tag any of my blogger friends, unless you happen to be my friend on facebook, then most likely you will be tagged. Oh the agony. I still have to do this stupid thing for facebook, but I have to do 25! noooo the pain.

2. I like philosophy a lot. However, I'm not too obsessed with it, I just know few random little bits. Bah, who am I kidding, anytime something pops up on the History Channel or National Geographic I watch it.

3. Kimya Dawson is my musical hero. She is awesome, her lyrics are awesome, and she birthed a child named Panda. If I were to be anyone when I grow up, it would most deff be Kimya.... or perhaps Lara Croft.

4. I don't like hugs. Some hugs don't bother me, but there are only few that don't. I hate that the fact that among the youth of today, hugs are treated like hand shakes. Bah, those young people.

5. I'm pretty liberal, in fact I'm a Lizzitarian, but I like guns. Not the ones that kill people though, unless they are annoying.

6. My mind wanders easily, so easily in fact that it just wandered right now.

7. One of the main reasons why I joined debate is because Rory from Gilmore Girls was in debate. Haha, yessss. LD debate.....

8. Anderson Cooper and Bill Maher are perhaps the two men I would one day like to sit down and have a sandwich with.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Mista Darcy

Dude. Just watched Pride and Prejudiced for the billionth time. Do I really have to say that Mr.Darcy is THE perfect guy??

In a man, he is all I want. Gosh. Golly. If only I could find a man like him.

Ah, but spending time at Bekka's house is pretty rad, but I ate these gummi bears and broke out in hives.... I think it might of been the brand or something....

Then we went out for Pizza, and rented movies.

Other than that, nothing much to report, no one die, and have a nice weekend.

Thursday, January 29, 2009


After the high energy days of yesterday, today stood alone as mediocre.  It wasn't horribly bad, or wondrously good.  Just mundane and calm.

Unfortunately I had to run the mile, and I clocked in at a pathetic 12 minutes and 50 seconds.... I'm so very out of shape.

On the brighter side of things, I get to spend the weekend at Bekka's ---- and we might have a Jane Austen movie fest.  Hopefully we'll get Pride & Prejudice, and Northanger Abbey.  Anyways, today was just---- there.  I wrote this little drabble on Fiction Press of what I would write if I was ever infatuated with someone.  Haha, but sadly no, currently I'm not infatuated with anyone (unless you count Anderson Cooper).  Oh, but the drabble is here.  Enjoy.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Weepy Weather Wednesday

Ah my, I feel bad for the things I typed yesterday in regards to Jacob. After sleeping over it I now realize that I honestly was irrational in the way of my thinking.

Yesterday my eyes were teared up because I was consumed with anger at Jacob, but today they were teared up because I realized how bad I made him feel. I know my intent was to make him feel guilty and torn up, and apparently he does, but it however gives me no satisfaction at this current moment to know that. I just feel horrible and weepy.

He wrote me an apology letter that I read this morning, and after reading it I was reduced to a puddle of tears. There is no other way to describe it other than the cliche and over-used phrase of "I felt really bad." or at least, that's the only way I know how to word it correctly. In the opening of his letter he put an excerpt of Søren Kierkegaard's Works of Love, which coincidentally I remember reading (well actually skimming) a year back because it was in a collection of works and journals that Kierkegaard did that my Uncle happened to have sitting out.

Then later on in the letter he apologized for pushing me like an idiot (a part in this letter that I heartily agree with) and being a douche bag (he spelt douche wrong btw). He also said that we needed to work together for debate.

He said some other stuff in the letter which made me even more weepy, and the concluding sentence was, "If you didn't have an incredible dislike of giving hugs. I would give you one now."

That pretty much tipped the iceberg, and I almost started crying, but I didn't. Then I walk over to the computer, and switch the screen on only to see this as the screen saver:

And if you guys don't know, Pietzsche is a play on words, (pronounced "peechay")  as opposed to Nietzsche (pronounced "neechay") summing it up to mean, "life is peachy"--- yeah that made me feel slightly better.

If I wasn't such a scared little insecure girl I would have written a full out apology, or at least expressed the fact that I too feel like an immense douche.  Now however, I hope it stays in the past and that he and I can move on forward respecting each other throughout the rest of the year, and that he can continue on teaching me and sharing his knowledge.  Or, in less eloquent terms, "I hope things will go back to being normal where I pretend not to have any respect for him and dislike him."

We'll see tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Bad-- no, horrible day

Today was not enjoyable at all. Yesterday was pretty bad, which is why I neglected doing an actual post--- but today deserves to be typed about.

Jacob went through his usual deal of making ME get up in front of class and do my rebuttal re-dos (which fyi is just remaking arguments until I get them right). But he was about 5 minutes late to class so James made me start before he arrived. We went through the usual every time I said "um" I had to start over, and he would commence throwing pens at me. However, I was actually starting to watch and be more cautious of my "ums" the only downside is the 5 second pauses where the "um" should be.

Then Jacob shows up, and he started this whole, no pauses, make GOOD arguments and such. I was ok with that.

Then he starts telling me all sorts of crap, and I'm standing up there praying to Buddha that I'll actually retain some of it, sadly seeing as I have a short attention span, I didn't.

He makes me start on my attacks, but I couldn't do it because I needed a mental break, and I even asked for one repeatedly telling Jacob that if I didn't get one, I would freak out.

Nope. I got a couple minutes of "break-time" which was filled with distracting music, and he and James talking loudly so of course, I can't even gather my thoughts.

To make a long story short, I got fed up and stormed out of class, and retreated to the one place I knew Jacob couldn't go into, the girl's bathroom, where I destroyed one of the toilets (by shoving clumps of ripped up toilet paper down, so it couldn't flush anymore) due to how angry I was. The anger that consumed me in that one moment pushed me to the verge of tears and Miranda came to comfort me and calm me down.

The rest of the day was wasted on being angry with Jacob --- which again, let me reinstate what a waste of my time being angry at him was.

Then today, instead of confining myself in the art room during lunch, I decided to go and eat with Miranda and her friends. It was ok, I was starting to get less angry when Jacob came and sat down beside me. He wasn't even sitting for two seconds before I threw the nearest pile of things at his face(which was a handful of orange bits) and stormed off.

Then, like a ninja, I snuck past all the teachers and back to the art room where I spent the rest of lunch talking to Saad and Lauren.

According to Miranda, Jacob feels immense amounts of guilt and remorse---- AND HE SHOULD. I refuse to accept an apology from him. He deserves any bad feeling he's experiencing.

Call me an irrational grudge holder, but this is going down in the books. However, I am going to apologize for throwing those orange bits at him during lunch, am I going to apologize for doing anything else? No. I have my reasons.

1. He's not being fair. Why does he pick on me when he knows I can't handle it. I do my best in that class and all I get is sht. Whatever. Why doesn't he make Miranda start on the rebuttal re-dos? Every time we have to do them he always makes me do them first. NO I want a break.

2. He sets impossible standards, and expects too much out of me. You know what, I'm ok with not knowing everything, and I'm open to learning, but the only way I can actually retain anything is if whoever teaches me can help me learn at my own pace. I'm a freshman for Buddha's sake! I don't know everything, and I'm just now learning how to think critically. Jacob can't expect me to know everything, especially when all of what he's taught me is few and fragmented. Sure, he's told me how to make simple arguments and stuff, but most things I've had to pick up from other people, and by experience.

He doesn't deserve the right to expect this much out of me when he hasn't taught me fully. Also, he can't expect me to be this mature and and fast learning individual that he is. I'm young. I don't have as much experience as him.

UGH. I refuse to take any of his BS. When I feel pressured, I need a break. If I don't get one, you can expect me to get unhappy. Buddha, this morning I felt like I was dealing with my mom.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Belated Christmas Mad Lib

I'm Dreaming Of A Needy Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Angelo sat actively on a table, sipping illustrious eggnog.

He looked at the ambiguous pen hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Gaspard had hung it there, just before they looked at each other descriptively and then fell into each other's arms and massaged each other's lips.

If only I hadn't been so obscene, Angelo thought, pouring a magnificent amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Gaspard might not have got so knowledgeable and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a sultry tear and held his hand in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a rambunctious voice lifted clairvoyantly up in song.

I'm dreaming of a needy Christmas

Just like a smiling frenchman about to be made very happy

Angelo ran to the door. It was Gaspard, looking belligerent all over with snow.

"I missed you gallantly," Gaspard said. "And I wanted to massage your lips again."

Angelo hugged Gaspard and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Gaspard said.

"I think so too," Angelo said and they massaged each other's lips until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted cat cheek and lived belatedly until Angelo got drunk again.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Sunday Thought

After a bit of thinking, I think I've discovered something extremely great.

I'm not crazy, or mad, but I think that maybe, just maybe--- after I've graduated High School I should go on one of those Cheesy self discovery trips during the summer before college.

I have no idea how I'm going to pull this off, or where I want to go, but I think I should do it. Life goes by too fast and too little can happen if we just sit around.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Yes. I feel so accomplished right now. Why? Well maybe for one, I beat this senior named Spencer who I previously lost to in a debate round, and two (how fitting!) I got second place at the tournament!

Woot! I went 3:0 no losses! The only downside is the fact that my speaker points were pretty low..... but that's only because I have the horrible habit of saying um too much.

Jack surprisingly was fairly tolerable, and surprisingly a better driver than Jacob. Jack took Miranda and I to Sonic btw....

Anyways, I'm totally excited. After my dry not-placing streak, I've finally done something great! Eeep, I hope Jacob is proud. Oh, and I hope he passed his SAT's.

Bleh, anyways, I'm off to go and find some information on why the U.S. ought, or ought not submit to the jurisdiction of an international criminal court designed to prosecute crimes against humanity. Oh my, debate really is the thief of Saturdays.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Called out

Ack. For some reason I feel the urge to scream very loudly.

Today I'm surprised no one pulled a gun on me, or slapped me for the incredible jerk I've been all day.

Seriously. Today I told Brookie what I really thought of her. I tried to be sort of nice about it, but in the end I was just like 'screw it' and went all out.

Basically I told her that her only talent is getting guys, and that it's her only purpose too. Haha she wasn't too happy about it, and she tried to argue me, but it didn't work. I won. She had no proof.

The sad thing is that it's true. She's not smart, or particularly athletic and she's not to good at singing... she can't make any art, but by George she can round up a boy. All she talks about is boys, and she's never single.

It's just one of those things. Oh well, another thing off my chest. If she ends up getting pissed at me for calling her out in front of everyone, oh well. I might be too honest, but someone had to call her out. She's not little miss wonderful, she's just really really pretty.

Honest to Buddha anytime I try to talk to her about anything she zones out unless it's about a boy. There's more to life, and definitely more to talk about than that.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Dear slacker in my math class:

You really make me angry. You do nothing in class, all you do is sleep and talk about smoking pot. A few years back I thought you were cool, but now that I've seen you truly, I now realize that you are just a hopeless loser bound to live an empty life without any true purpose.

It makes me sad to see you waste your life away doing stupid things, and committing acts of ignorance, but it's your life. I do however, think you're a liar. You claim to be smart, to be of a higher intelligence, yet you can't speak cleverly, and your common sense lacks. You say you have the ability to do anything, yet you spend your days dreaming about scantily clad women, and how you wish you could obtain them.

A very smart person once said to me, "If someone was a true genius, then they would only have one goal in life."

Yet you have no goals, no aspirations, no dreams. You think you can make others do your work, mouth off and be disrespectful. You think you can do anything. In a sick way, I want you to fall from this high pedestal of lethargy that you've pulled yourself up on. I want to see you fall flat on your face so you can see how stupid you really are.

Oh if only. Knowing you however, you'll die young-- the disease of society, but a hero among fellow nobodies and bottom feeders.

I'm horrible for thinking this.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Know me.

I wish I knew someone, among all of the people that I know personally that truly understands the way I think.

I'm not quite sure if even my closest friends understand my logic at times.  

Like when my friends are disgusted by personal choices and lifestyles of others, I don't think it's right to discriminate against people or think they are morbid or gross because they live a certain way. I figure as long as someone isn't exploiting or hurting anyone, whatever choices they make won't bother me.

Or how many of my friends don't understand my logic behind not wanting to get married.

One does not have to have a piece of paper in order to show that you're spending the rest of your natural human life with someone. Not to mention the divorce rates being especially high for our generation, and the generation before ours.

Marriage to me would serve more for legal purposes than sentimental. For some people it's different, but I'm not those people.

However, I'm getting off the main point. I feel very selfish for yearning for a person who is similar to me in beliefs and habits, even though I have to admit to myself that it's a nice thing to wish for.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Wow, new president.

I can't explain or even try to vocalize the excitement I have for our new president.  Let's just all hope that he'll fix our country.

I'm scared because he has to be perfect.  If he makes even one mistake many people are going to hate him and arouse immense amounts of prejudice and negative feelings.

However, I'm not hoping for a perfect president, I'm hoping for some economical and social change.

Now moving on, I was bored yesterday and decided to make a funny little philosophy thingy.  Haha I should be drawn and quartered for making such a blasphemous thing involving Immanuel Kant.

Anyways, hope everyone is having a Great Inauguration day!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Odd shocks

So recently I found out that someone that I've known for less than a year is a closet Theologian. I mean, I'm not judging them, no not at all, I just find it shocking since their political standpoint is so liberal.

Oh well, you can't know everything about someone. For some reason, it makes me have even more respect for them because they don't let their Religious views interfere with their political opinion. If only everyone was like that.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Not sleeping

It's been hard for me to get to sleep lately, and usually I just work-out and do some stretching and yoga to tire myself out but it hasn't been working lately.

I wake up tired and zombie like, and come to school either super hyped up due to green tea and sugar packets, or washed up and cranky.

Either way, it's not working out. I need to find a way to change my sleep patterns so I don't totally die of exhaustion during school.

Anyways, today was just one of those filler days, where nothing out of the norm happened. I helped my Dad clean out under the carport, which was a pain in the pancreas, and babysitted my baby brother during random parts of the day.

Nothing too exciting. For the sake of randomness, here's a picture of Prince Albert Victor, who was under suspicion of being Jack the Ripper, and also questioned as being gay.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Just Another

Ok, so today I had a tournament, which shouldn't even be considered a tournament just because of the fact that the speaker points that were dealt out were crap.

I wish we could have gone to the North Lamar one, but oh well.

It was the usual routine of Jacob professing his love to me (literally) and me rejecting him. Then he attempted to hug me multiple times, and succeeded twice. Bleh, I'm really tired of hugs at this point, I mean I only hug people when I feel like it, which is very seldom.

Oh yes, did I mention the sandwich hug, in which I was in the middle and James and Jacob were the outside? No? Well it sucked.

Other than the above mentioned, I think I did pretty well seeing how I went 2:1 in my debate rounds.

Also, I talked to this kid named Marley (who I swear is gay) and he instantly noticed that I have slight OCD. I was kinda impressed that he picked up on it because I usually keep my impulses suppressed.... we talked about m&ms and skittles.

I didn't know it was possible until today, but it seems as if I've come to hate Jack even more. He's such a douche sometimes that I wanna throw stuff at him.  I do however learn from him even though I hate to admit it.   

I'm dreading Tuesday when I go back to school... I really don't want to talk to anyone because I'm just mentally drained at this point and I really don't feel like doing anything. I have a feeling that I'm starting to become depressed again because I've been experiencing immense amounts of lethargy, minor self hate, and I've been reclusive lately---- or maybe I'm just PMSing really bad... but it's never been this bad before....

I guess I'll find out later, but until then expect a lot of petty whining.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Maybe Guilt ---

So I'm not quite sure if I feel guilty or not.... but let me elaborate first.

Asstin, a friend that I've known since 7th grade has been pestering me, asking me weird questions and such during our normal almost daily conversations.

Usually I enjoy when we talk because I find that sometimes he says some really deep things involving personal development and the concept of originality. He's a smart guy, and I'd like to go so far as to call him a genius, but as we all know geniuses are in general pretty messed up in one aspect or another.

He told me once that people with genius level I.Q.'s only have one major goal in life --- then he told me his was to have a family and kids, and I sort of panicked inside my mind wondering why he was sharing this with me.

Then I started on my Anderson Cooper and Bill Maher obsession, making a criteria for my perfect guy and what not and he bashed them and called me creepy, which I guess is normal when a teenage girl says she has a crush on middle aged men in the news and entertainment industry.

Then one day he comes up to me and says, "Would you love me if I was successful and rich?"

The question caught me off guard and I ended up blurting out something along the lines of no, because he was too obsessed with World of Warcraft, and I didn't care about money, it just so happens that most people who are successful have money. Then he just was like, "Why can't you make all the money and I stay at home?"

And lately we've been having little arguments and such, and discussing relationships, and those discussions usually end on a bitter note. Then today, he comes up to me all shaky and depressed telling me that he deleted his level 70 on WoW... Now, I know how major it is to be that level, and I can't help but feel like I had something to do with him deleting his characters....

I'm confused, and I think he likes me, but I don't really like him like that. Our interests are too different, and he wants the exact opposite of what I want out of life. Plus not to mention he's not my type.

However, I don't see how he could like me because of the fact that we are so different. Another thing is that I'm not really into relationships right now. Really, to be quite honest I plan on being single with maybe a few romantic interests every now and then.

It's a good thing that I get a three day weekend.... hopefully all of this crap will blow over.

Some Rupert

So I'm not going to whine about how bad my day is probably going to go, or anything disheartening like that, but I will however share with you Rupert Grint! Yay! Apparently he's in this movie called Cherrybomb that's due to premiere sometime between February or March (so I've heard). I've had fun editing the image from it's original form, to the edited version shown in this post. Hehe I still love photoshop.

Anyways, moving on --- I'm worried that I've been pushing too many people away lately. I don't really mean to do it, but sometimes it bothers me when people get too close...

Oh well, there's not much I can do about what bothers me and what doesn't. Maybe I need some counseling sessions or something... Or maybe it's just something that'll work it's way off on it's own. Gee, being a teenager sucks at times.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Um --- I hate you.

Today was an off day.  I woke up feeling less than great, and went to school feeling even worse.  In Debate it just plain sucked because we had to do rebuttal re-dos, which is basically all of us remaking arguments.  Also, Jacob was trying to break me of my habit of saying um every 5 words during a debate round, so everytime I said um he made me start over.  It was not an easy morning.

Then after Debate I had two tests, and a lot of class discussion crap.  Then during lunch and part of the end of the day Asstin kept on saying weird things that confused me, and we got into an argument.... again.  However, it wasn't like a yelling argument, just a strong exchange of words with normal voices.

I'll elaborate later if I feel like it, but right now I need to unwind and get happy.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Imagine my joy

Ok, for those of you who haven't been following my blog for that long, I'll do some explaining.

Ever since I was little I've had this little infatuation with Little Lord Fauntleroy.  Why? because he is in the most simplest terms, the sweetest little fictional boy that has ever been imagined.

His story has much tragedy, as of the story of Pip from Great Expectations, but instead of being sad and such like the above mentioned novel, his story is a lot more heart warming and happy.

Oh yes, and he was also the First Mary Sue EVER in literature.  Gosh, you gotta love the firsts.

here's a random summary I found online about it:

Little Lord Fauntleroy (1885, 1886) by Frances Hodgson Burnett is a beloved children's novel that made a huge impact on the 19th century public, shaping everything from boys' clothing fashions to copyright law. 

Cedric Errol is a generous, kind, and exemplary middle-class American boy who is suddenly found to be the heir of the Earl of Dorincourt. Saying loving goodbyes to his working-class friends, Cedric goes to England together with his mother to embrace his new fortune. His grandfather, the old earl, is a bitter old man ridden with gout and a foul temper, trusting no one. However the angelic boy elicits a profound transformation in the grandfather, which not only benefits the castle household but the whole populace of the earldom. 

If only the old man's heart would soften toward Cedric's estranged mother, the family would be healed at last. And when another potential heir to the earldom makes a claim, it seems that everything is lost.... 

But all things are possible through a child's innocent trust, true friendship, and unconditional love.

Little Lord Fauntleroy was originally intended as a children's book, but had a great appeal to mothers. It created a fashion of long curls (based on her son Vivian's) and velvet suits with lace collars (based on Oscar Wilde's attire). The book sold more than half a million copies.

Trying not to try

Today was a bit of a fail for James and I because apparently we had a sucky round....

Mainly my fault though.  Jacob expressed his extreme disappointment in both of us after the round.  I feel like a failure. I don't want to let Jacob down.....

But anyways, moving on, I drew this picture of a baby that I named Napoleon, and I think he's the cutest baby on earth.

Hopefully I'll be able to put a picture up soon.

*EDIT: does anyone else notice the nifty Obama inauguration countdown? :] Yay, let's hope our last chance of saving our country doesn't screw up!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Try not to shake.

I'm scared for tomorrow because I'm going to debate either James or Jacob in class.

However, I do feel as if I have a decent reason of being scared of them, I mean they have so much more knowledge than me, and they're both experienced in this field.

Hmmmm, tonight I was planning on revising both my cases, but instead I'm going to spend the night relaxing, and putting myself in an optimistic mind frame. Overcoming fear isn't that hard, but it also isn't too easy. 

Ugh, not to mention my weekends are going to be pretty busy.  I need another Christmas Break.

Monday, January 12, 2009

I'm too young

Now, I'm not saying this is a bad thing, believe me I'm all for saving and holding on to whatever youth I have, but sometimes I feel like I'm being held back due to my age.

It makes me happy that people see me as older, not only in the way that I look but also with the way that I act, but just knowing that someone has more life experience than me puts off. There are certain people whom I admire, and at times I wonder if I'll ever be as mature as them--- I can have moments of insight, or clarity in which I have the ability to see deeper into a situation, but I still have this haunting feeling that I will only achieve my full potential--- the height of my maturity when I'm much older.

For some reason I always end up scolding myself for lack of insight in certain situations, however I know that I can't help it. Haha, in fact there is scientific proof that I can't help it.

Still, I want to be like those I admire. Will I gain more insight when I'm older? I feel behind the grain, like I can't understand why I can't be as insightful as those older than me.

It may be wrong to measure the weight of my full potential by 'maturity' but what else can one weigh it on? Success? What is success if you don't know how to keep it?

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Religion and Evolution

There has always been a fine line between Religious belief and scientific proof, and everyone is either in between or totally on one side.

Those that adamantly choose a side and preach their version of the truth are often ridiculed and called hard headed and ignorant, but there are many like myself that like to stay wrapped in the middle.

When it comes to Evolution, there has always been much argument on whether or not to teach it in schools. My school has text books which show the theories and teachings of Darwin.

Now being raised Baptist, in a part of the US known as the "Bible Belt" I spent 11 years of my life thinking that the world, and evolution was corrupt, and that the world was created in 6 twenty-four hour periods. Looking back I feel quite foolish.

Just to get this out there, I do not believe humans have originated from apes, I believe that we have our own species. It's kinda like how whales look like giant fishes, but in truth they're mammals. Humans may look similar to apes, but we are not apes.

Moving on, I have to criticize both the scientific and religious world for spreading ignorance. What is this ignorance? It is the lack of being objective on their views, and their unwilling attitude towards the other's belief.

There are many points of proof on both ends that each other's story is credible, such as the fact that the occurrences mentioned in the bible pertaining to the order in which God created the world are parallel to fossil records.

Also, for evolution's sake, it is real.  Evolution is a fact not a theory, because we see it in everyday life.  Humans have become smarter, stronger, and more immune.  We're living longer and finding new ways to enhance ourselves, just as mosquitoes are becoming immune to the pesticides that we make, and just like animals grow and adapt to the changing environments.

Another thing to throw out there for hard core religious folks, the original Hebrew translation of day was 'a period of time' not 'twenty-four hours'.  One must also remember that to the classical idea of God, a day to him could be 15 million years.

I'm just so sick and tired of people overlooking the obvious just so they can argue that they are right.  It gets really annoying after a while.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

So yesterday was hellacious. I spent most of it time keeping and hanging out with fellow debate folks.

I'm a bit miffed that I still had to pay for food even though I was part of the host school. Jeez, they wanted money from everyone!

We had fun with singing on the mike, Jack (of all people) sang I'll make love to you By Boys To Men, and of course he sang it directly to Travis, whom he has developed a deep bromance with. Yeah, it was great.

As for today it was just a bunch of sitting, walking, and whining about not bringing a jacket because it was cold outside.

Jacob is a freak, and apparently I untied his super knot or whatever on his timer--- oh well. After I came home from the tourney I felt really dizzy and queasy and just overall Bleh.

And to top it all off my mom called me about some art thing and selling my artwork online with this lady she met. I dunno. I'm a bit skeptical, and I'm wondering if there's going to be a catch or not. However, I am in need of money for my funds which have developed into wanting a new hardrive and other equipment so I can build my own computer, but I digress.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to get some of my Biology homework done, but now I'm going to make some crazy rad art.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Does my butt look big in these slacks?

A question I will most likely be asking people while competing tomorrow at the tourney. UGH. I'm so tired, but I had so much fun tonight.

Blehhhh Time to watch some more Jane Austen movies

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Leadership and underlayers

So today was the day that I attended my 'prestigious' Leadership Conference and most of it was pretty great. I was afraid that I would get stuck with a deadbeat rich kid 'I don't need to lead, my parents are important' type of group but Luckly the people in my group were pretty friendly and down to earth.

My group leader was O-mazing. She really encouraged us to be outgoing and always know what we were doing, and she was really insightful and overall just a great teacher.

At the end of the day I felt like some of my group was like 'family' haha and we exchanged hugs and laughs. It felt amazing to be with like minded individuals who want to make a difference in our world. For once! A group of people with goals!

We had some speakers stop by, one was Yordanos Refu who was born a Ethiopian refugee, and while she was giving her speech (in a large theater filled with at least 400 people) she asked a question, and I raised my hand. And then she called on me and I spoke. And people were staring. And it felt great!

Then a girl who was attending Vanderbilt University spoke. Her speech touched me the most because she was trying to find a cure for Lupus. The thing that struck me was that she wasn't doing it for personal gain or publicity, she was doing it to find a cure for her mother that has the disease. Afterwards I had the opportunity to speak with her for a few moments, and she asked me what I really wanted to do. It wasn't until then that I realized that my life should have much greater purpose than being just a normal lawyer for hire, suddenly without even thinking I blurted out:

"Human rights. I want to defend and protect those that are being descrimated against wether it be race, religion, sexual orientation---- anything. I want them to know that they have a fighting chance."

And she smiled and told me that she had friends that working with a group that did that and she said that she could tell that no matter what I decided to do in the end, I would end up helping people. Even if she might've said that to anyone talking to her, I really felt she was being genuine, and deep down I felt honored to have had her opinion.

Even though many kids who went to this thing didn't take the situation seriously, I did. It was a very vital experience to know what I want to do with my life.

Haha, another fun point, I put one of the educational speakers on the spot! It was a prosthetics little thing where he was talking about all the great things that the uni had accomplished with prosthetics and how they had created a cheaper, but just as durable leg for third world countries. He bragged about how they had helped the people of Kenya, Sierra Leon, Malaysia, and how they had mission places set up to help the needy and unfortunate poor people of those areas. Good cause of course, but I thought there were other issues that had to be addressed. He asked for questions, I raised my hand then stood up, my heart pounding as a giant room full of people stared at me.

"Sir, what about the poor people that can't afford to pay the $2,000- $4,000 here in America for a prosthetic leg? Why don't they get affordable legs? Why are you just going to other countries?"

He just stared at me for a bit, then hesitantly answered saying that he didn't know. Then he mentioned some BS about how Healthcare takes care of it, but he stopped abruptly, and changed his train of thought and said it was something they would look into. I'm pretty sure that everyone in the room knew just how reliable Healthcare is for the poor.

I'm sorry mister young smart guy. I didn't mean to put you on the spot, but it makes me mad sometimes when people brag about helping other 3rd world countries, but neglect their own nation. Fix America before you fix something else.

Haha, maybe I should be an anchorwoman that asks tough questions and defends the weak!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Art For the New Year

Mixed media consisting of Prismacolor Water color pencils, Verithin prismas, India Ink, Copic Marker, Sharpie fine point pen.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Oh Rain.

UGH. My feet are soaked, and my clothes smell damp, but overall the first day back at school wasn't exactly horrible.

Apparently I have a leadership conference to attend at a nearby university Thursday and I don't really know what to expect....

All I know is one of the women speaking has attended Vanderbilt University, and of course Anderson Cooper is a Vanderbilt, which means of course I'm bound to show up.  I feel special though, knowing that they only picked 100 students.... my school is pretty big too.

Also this Friday, my school is hosting a Tournament, and I'm going to be competing in one event, but the rest of the day I'm just going to sit at the Ballot table.

Blehhh this week is too short!  My weekends are so jammed pack with either school stuff, or family stuff :( I miss my friends and free time.

Also, I've uploaded some artwork, but I had to take a picture of them using a camera, so a lot of the quality has been dulled down.  XP they're too big for a scanner at my house! I'll probably put it up tomorrow.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Don't feel like school.

So tomorrow I start back school, and I have this whole issue with going back to school after long vacations.  I hate it.  On the bright side I'm starting back on one of my easier days.  Thank budda for easy days. My classes tomorrow consist of:

Debate (yessssss..... wait no! I need to perfect my case before Jacob looks at it!  I need perfection!)
Biology (ick. Too much work in that class.)
AP Art (I'm too tired to even think about this class. It's more strenuous than you think.)
Pre Drill ("I'm only doing it for the credit." I repeat this to myself every day, but I still don't really like that class.)
Spanish 1 (the only bright side in this class is friends. Without them this class would totally suck.)

Oh well, there isn't much I can do about school--- I mean I missed having something to do, but at the same time I hate the routine.  Hmmm Anderson is going to be broadcasting live from Israel today I have to say I'm a bit worried.... I hope he and his crew are staying safe and out of trouble, but knowing him he's probably out on the front lines trying to get as close as possible to the Gaza strip.

I can't say I would be much different though.  I like being on the front lines to witness whatever's happening.  I hope he lives to blog another night.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Fast Food.

UGH. I feel queasy right now.  On the verge of puking.  Now, I know on Facebook, and occasionally Twitter I joke about puking, but right now I'm not.

Ick all day I've been busy helping my parents (mainly paying them the $400 I owe them --- I've paid back $282 so far) so busy in fact we've only had time to eat fast food.  Gross.  Today I decided instead of getting my healthier choice of grilled chicken to try a cheeseburger and let me say, it was not a good idea.

It's been like what, at least a year and a half since I had a fast food burger from Mc Donalds?  Let me say, not a good idea.  It obviously did not rest well with me.

Just thinking of the greasy over processed morsel makes me sick.  If it were up to me I'd eat fresh fruits and veggies everyday, but since my parents only have time to go grocery shopping once in a Blue moon we have to buy long lasting food.

If I ever get my own car, I'm finding a fresh farm market.  Fresh food goes fast in my house and I'd rather eat some carrots or cucumbers when I get the munchies.

Speaking of munchies, I've sworn off potato chips.  Another step towards feeling healthier! In fact, I'm going to cut down overall chips.

Also, since I still need a starch, and some protein, I'm looking into eating rice on a regular basis again.  My parents are looking for a sushi kit, and once they get one, they'll need a rice cooker so I probably might start eating more fish also even though I'm not too fond of it.

Does anyone have any tips or suggestions on eating healthier?  I haven't had a coke since early December, and I'm hoping to go without in January.  I feel great just drinking juice, tea, and water, but I'm probably going to start cutting down on the high sugar juice also this year.  Last year I thought I was going to die only having one coke a month, but I lived.  Now to ween myself off of other unhealthy things!

Image courtesy of tetsuoshima

Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Common Hypocrisy of Brands Among Teens

I feel that I should post something ahead of this, as a disclaimer telling you that this is not meant to be offensive, because really it is, but again, I feel like my voice is more important than your feelings.  Now, this is not meant as a personal attack, it is but a mere opinionated (duh) observation.

Young America, dear young America: Where are we going? Why are we so ignorant?  Why do we buy into this fake world in which we feel like we must impress our peers with material objects?

Of course in nature, animals attract each other through flashing their genitals, and beating around, but we are not animals.  We are beings of higher thinking..... or at least that is what I wish to think.

I was recently appalled when I found out my sister was a "brand name" girl, however it's not like I didn't see it coming anyways.  She was turning into the girls that I made fun of at school for wearing Hollister, AE, Abercrombie, and Areopostal.  By the way, quite a few of these girls I ridicule are friends of mine.

So I was on my way coming to terms with the fact that she was going to be "one of them" and I, being the silly non conformist that I am shun her clothing when one day we were shopping for coats.

She probably would have been fine with a $100 jacket from Hollister, but instead my parents were insistent that we find a place that actually specializes in selling coats.  While looking around for coats she saw a nice tan coat that I instantly noticed was Kenneth Cole.  Now usually, nice coats for that brand run wayy over $100, but it was luckily on sale and I urged her to buy it, insisting that she was ignorant to pass up such a buy.  Hesitantly she agreed.

Later I learned that she had not even know what the brand name was.  I was shocked. Someone like her, a "brand girl" didn't know who this former shoe designer turned clothes and accessory designer was.

Young America, if your going to spend an enormous amount on a shopping trip, don't spend it on trivial brand names that sell you the same shirt, but in a different color, with their names broad casted over your chests like free advertisement.  Don't spend it on jeans that look exactly the same, just with a different tag stapled on the back.

Spend it on something worthwhile. Versace, Vera Wang, Gucci, Armani, the list goes on.  Why waste your money on clothes that make you pay so they can advertise on your body? At least when people where shirts about bands their actually supporting something, instead of a genius, but unoriginal company.

Apples to Apples

Let me start off by saying, I hate that game, because the people that are the judges always hate me and never pick my card >.<  Hehe also I find it funny that they have a bible version of Apples to Apples! Would Judas be a noun or an adjective?

Anyways, today was a barrel of fun and then some since it was my casual debate tourney.  I met this nice gypsy girl who read my palm and told me that I'd have a long life, lacking fulfillment, spirituality, and I have many romantic options.   Not only that but I'm shy, introverted, and vonerable. Isn't that great.

Jacob kept saying that his love line only had one option, and I was  just, "Who? Ting Ting?"  I had a  fun tormenting Jacob. Especially in just normal conversation.

Jacob:  I'm tired of being on top of people!

Me:  So you like taking it like a girl? (laughing)

and of course he Force hugged me, and I was just like, dude. no.  Honestly, I have an actual reason for not liking Jacob.  It may not be reasonable, but it's a reason.  Oh, and one day, I will be better than Jacob.  One day.  Of course lots of other stuff happend, but I'm too lazy to type it up.

This weekend I was planning on watching Atonement, Pride and Prejudice, Jumper and Religulous (again) but I'll probably be busy helping my parents do who knows what this weekend.  Oh well.... oh, last minute--- is anyone here Catholic, or know any Catholic bloggers?

Friday, January 2, 2009

Juicy blogger thoughts from yours truely

It's quite embarrassing, but recently I've found that talking is the best way to deal with embarrasment, even if it's to the internet.
According to my site meter I have at least 35 - 40 people who visit my blog and don't leave comments.... not that I care, it's just a little weird when people just show up to read, then dump me like it was booty call or something.
Anyways, I thought I should deal with the awkward/snarky thoughts that cross my mind while blogging, and reading other people's blogs.

- Is the author male or female?

Now, I know I can't be the only person out there that deals with this. I go to a blog page, see it decorated with flourishes and flowers only to read and find out that the writing is very..... manly. Like, "Jesus. That Chuck. He sure knows how to throw a good party. Almost all of us got laid, even me, and I have a girlfriend. Well, I did as of yesterday---"

And sometimes I'll come across a blog with a psudonym that doesn't give much insight into gender, and on their profile or about me section there are no hints whatsoever as to a sex. For some reason, this really bothers me. I like knowing if people are guys/girls/undecided. If they are undecided the least they could do is tell me that they're undecided :/

- I wonder if should comment...

I have a rule. A rule I try to stick to. It's about commenting. I seldomly comment on someone who posts multiple times a day because 1: I'm lazy and 2: I only comment if I actually have something to say about a subject.
I don't go by this whole, "Hey, they commented on mine so I guess I have to comment them." No. I am not a Myspace Comment Whore. You know who those sluts are, they're all COMMENT ME AND I'll RETURN THE FAVOR!11!! Bhudda, we're not bargaining for hand jobs, it's just a profile that 45 year old creeps browse.
This is not Myspace! It's a blog! 
- Dude. What if I run into these people in real life?!

Wow. That would be weird. I don't necessarily censor what I say on here, which makes me even more paranoid.... What if a teacher from school reads this? Oh well. This is the 20th century. After I get over the 10 minutes of embarrasment, I'll probably ask them to get a blog.
As for meeting blog buddies, probably not going to happen right? No one has the funds or motivation to get a plane ticket and fly somewhere to meet a complete and utter stranger. Haha, very reassuring right?

- Is this even considered blogging?

Ok, everyone is guilty of it, even me. You know what it is, the whole "dood I just posted a quiz result for my blog today!"
I've done it, you've done it, but I have to point out that about 90 percent of my posts are actual written posts. What makes me laugh is the fact that I know some stupid live journal bloggers that do this, and they always gripe about never having any comments. Well, I guess if they got off their lazy unimaginative gelatin butts and actually wrote something they would get some comments.

- OMG I have 5 readers!

Bhudda. It's not a popularity competition. Blogging for me has always been an outlet for me. And it's ok if you like to blog about cooking, comic books, your obession with Wolf Blitzer, sex, music, or just your life.

The point of blogging is not to have the MOST readers, but to get your voice out there, even if no one is listening. It took me a while to learn that, but I finally have.
- Boundaries much?
For each blogger it's different.  Some people won't post names, others won't reveal any personal information, it differs.
Every now and then I run across some 12 year old blogger who doesn't even know the meaning of the word privacy and they pass out their number, adress, and pictures of themselves.  It's horrible.  Not only that, it's annoying, and DANGEROUS.  I'm not their mother, but their mother should be alerted.  Haven't they seen any of those "To Catch a Predator" shows?
Or sometimes I'll run across bloggers who have almost no boundary at all.  BHUDDA.  No one wants to know about your boyfriend's penis malfunction or even wants to see pictures about it, and I'm sure he doesn't want the world to know about it either.  Now, if your blog is about Erectile Disfuntion, and not about your college life, that's a different story.
- The perfect blogger.
I'm tired of reading these articles on websites saying THIS IS HOW YOU SHOULD DO IT.  Dude, just recently when I went to Barnes and Noble I saw this book about tips on Blogging.  There is no right or wrong way to blog.  You just do it. No one is perfect, and each person has a different style.
Heck, I usually read blogs that are about real stuff, mostly impromtu and not pre composed.  That's what I like to read.  Do I write like that? No, but that's what separates me from most.
- Ugly Layouts
Everyone has gone through an Ugly layout phase.  I know I have, seeing as I hand code most of my layouts, or I tweek templates.  However, I cannot stand to read an Ugly layout.  Ick.  If you're not an experienced coder, don't make your own Layouts.  For the love of Bhudda just stick to editing Banners.  Wait, scratch that.  If you're not good at making banners, don't do that either.  The only thing worse than reading boring posts is to have a distasteful banner to look at.
- Am I done with this post?
Yes! I am! Are you happy? Did you learn something?  Are my uses of "!" and "?" annoyong you?!
Really, I promise I'm usually not this snarky or whatever, I just felt like I needed to type some of this crap up.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

I can't take you seriously.

B: You have issues, why aren't you in the loony bin?

Me: Because I speak rationally and know how to fake sanity. Why else?

B: I don't know. -pause- When was the last time you thought about a relationship?

Me: The other day when I decided upon the criteria for my perfect person.

B: You're kidding. There's a criteria? -laughs-

Me: Well, I have a theory on why marriages don't work, and it's because people don't know what they're looking for. I made a certain check list with ---

B: A check list?! Why haven't I seen it?

Me: Because I just made it a few days ago, and I knew you'd think it was stupid.

B: Well, I don't think it's stupid, so just let me see it!

Me: I can't take you seriously when you stand like that, so no.

B: Stand like what? -moves closer-

Me: Like that-! In my personal space. Back up some--- you know what, I'll tell you my criteria if you step outside of my circle.

B: Deal. Now tells mes.

Me: Well, he has to understand my personal space quirks ---

B: You mean how one moment you won't mind me standing over your shoulder, then the next you're---

Me: Shuddap. If you don't want to know, then I won't tell you. Now, next he has to be willing to support me when I get the urge to randomly want to go somewhere, like that time I wanted to help out during Katrina, or that time I wanted to go to Southern Congo. Next--

B: I would support you.

Me: Right. Moving on, good hygiene is also very important, along with being politically aware, and having a good sense of humor.

B: You're asking for something that'll take you a while to find.

Me: But it's not impossible, and that's what really counts. Until I meet someone like that, I probably won't be able to take any relationships seriously.

B: Seriously?

Me: Seriously.

B: Why so serious?

Me: Shut up.