Monday, August 17, 2009

Hate is a strong word

Celery, if I haven't said this before, is my rock. He's got my back. He had my back today.

For those of you who don't know, Jacob, the douche who almost made freshman year suck for me, Jacob, the former president of the Debate team who has caused me much emotional confusion, re-added me on FBook.

Again. After I've deleted him multiple times. He caught me off guard on FBook chat. Luckily, I was talking to Celery at the time, so I was able to vent to him, and manage to not rage at Jacob and all of the confusing things he said to me.

If you've forgotten all the turmoil he's put me through, just search "Jacob" in that little search box above the fish. I don't see how anyone can throw around I love you's and walk away non committed to anything, anyone.

Whenever he compliments me, I don't feel happy or better about myself. I always end up angry/confused/wary. He's too good to be true. He's a flaky flip flopper. I don't care if he says I'm smart and beautiful. I'm sure he says that to tons of girls.

He's leaving Tuesday for college in Ohio to major in Philosophy and Theology. We're so alike, but so different.

After a good length of conversation he bid me goodnight. I told him to forget about me. He thought I was joking.

It would be so much easier if he just forgot about me and found a new girl to shower with suspiciously too nice compliments. Maybe she'll actually give into him, and say everything I never wanted to say.

I don't hate Jacob, I hate the way he is.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. I'm so terribly sorry, Lizzi. I didn't realize Jacob was THAT bad.

    Kudos to Celery who was there to keep you cool.