Now, I'm not saying this is a bad thing, believe me I'm all for saving and holding on to whatever youth I have, but sometimes I feel like I'm being held back due to my age.
It makes me happy that people see me as older, not only in the way that I look but also with the way that I act, but just knowing that someone has more life experience than me puts off. There are certain people whom I admire, and at times I wonder if I'll ever be as mature as them--- I can have moments of insight, or clarity in which I have the ability to see deeper into a situation, but I still have this haunting feeling that I will only achieve my full potential--- the height of my maturity when I'm much older.
For some reason I always end up scolding myself for lack of insight in certain situations, however I know that I can't help it. Haha, in fact there is scientific proof that I can't help it.
Still, I want to be like those I admire. Will I gain more insight when I'm older? I feel behind the grain, like I can't understand why I can't be as insightful as those older than me.
It may be wrong to measure the weight of my full potential by 'maturity' but what else can one weigh it on? Success? What is success if you don't know how to keep it?
I think just striving for something such as this makes you insightful, the rest comes with time. As far as I can say, and feel free to call my cheezy here, but I highly enjoy reading your thoughts, even if they still have so much room to grow.
ReplyDeletebe careful comparing yourself to others! but i'm sure that you're plenty great [insightful, successful, etc.] enough. reminds me of that Pink Floyd song... lost soul swimming in a fish bowl year after year..
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