I can't take you seriously.

B: You have issues, why aren't you in the loony bin?

Me: Because I speak rationally and know how to fake sanity. Why else?

B: I don't know. -pause- When was the last time you thought about a relationship?

Me: The other day when I decided upon the criteria for my perfect person.

B: You're kidding. There's a criteria? -laughs-

Me: Well, I have a theory on why marriages don't work, and it's because people don't know what they're looking for. I made a certain check list with ---

B: A check list?! Why haven't I seen it?

Me: Because I just made it a few days ago, and I knew you'd think it was stupid.

B: Well, I don't think it's stupid, so just let me see it!

Me: I can't take you seriously when you stand like that, so no.

B: Stand like what? -moves closer-

Me: Like that-! In my personal space. Back up some--- you know what, I'll tell you my criteria if you step outside of my circle.

B: Deal. Now tells mes.

Me: Well, he has to understand my personal space quirks ---

B: You mean how one moment you won't mind me standing over your shoulder, then the next you're---

Me: Shuddap. If you don't want to know, then I won't tell you. Now, next he has to be willing to support me when I get the urge to randomly want to go somewhere, like that time I wanted to help out during Katrina, or that time I wanted to go to Southern Congo. Next--

B: I would support you.

Me: Right. Moving on, good hygiene is also very important, along with being politically aware, and having a good sense of humor.

B: You're asking for something that'll take you a while to find.

Me: But it's not impossible, and that's what really counts. Until I meet someone like that, I probably won't be able to take any relationships seriously.

B: Seriously?

Me: Seriously.

B: Why so serious?

Me: Shut up.