It's quite embarrassing, but recently I've found that talking is the best way to deal with embarrasment, even if it's to the internet.
According to my site meter I have at least 35 - 40 people who visit my blog and don't leave comments.... not that I care, it's just a little weird when people just show up to read, then dump me like it was booty call or something.
Anyways, I thought I should deal with the awkward/snarky thoughts that cross my mind while blogging, and reading other people's blogs.
- Is the author male or female?
Now, I know I can't be the only person out there that deals with this. I go to a blog page, see it decorated with flourishes and flowers only to read and find out that the writing is very..... manly. Like, "Jesus. That Chuck. He sure knows how to throw a good party. Almost all of us got laid, even me, and I have a girlfriend. Well, I did as of yesterday---"
And sometimes I'll come across a blog with a psudonym that doesn't give much insight into gender, and on their profile or about me section there are no hints whatsoever as to a sex. For some reason, this really bothers me. I like knowing if people are guys/girls/undecided. If they are undecided the least they could do is tell me that they're undecided :/
- I wonder if should comment...
I have a rule. A rule I try to stick to. It's about commenting. I seldomly comment on someone who posts multiple times a day because 1: I'm lazy and 2: I only comment if I actually have something to say about a subject.
I don't go by this whole, "Hey, they commented on mine so I guess I have to comment them." No. I am not a Myspace Comment Whore. You know who those sluts are, they're all COMMENT ME AND I'll RETURN THE FAVOR!11!! Bhudda, we're not bargaining for hand jobs, it's just a profile that 45 year old creeps browse.
This is not Myspace! It's a blog!
- Dude. What if I run into these people in real life?!
Wow. That would be weird. I don't necessarily censor what I say on here, which makes me even more paranoid.... What if a teacher from school reads this? Oh well. This is the 20th century. After I get over the 10 minutes of embarrasment, I'll probably ask them to get a blog.
As for meeting blog buddies, probably not going to happen right? No one has the funds or motivation to get a plane ticket and fly somewhere to meet a complete and utter stranger. Haha, very reassuring right?
- Is this even considered blogging?
Ok, everyone is guilty of it, even me. You know what it is, the whole "dood I just posted a quiz result for my blog today!"
I've done it, you've done it, but I have to point out that about 90 percent of my posts are actual written posts. What makes me laugh is the fact that I know some stupid live journal bloggers that do this, and they always gripe about never having any comments. Well, I guess if they got off their lazy unimaginative gelatin butts and actually wrote something they would get some comments.
- OMG I have 5 readers!
Bhudda. It's not a popularity competition. Blogging for me has always been an outlet for me. And it's ok if you like to blog about cooking, comic books, your obession with Wolf Blitzer, sex, music, or just your life.
The point of blogging is not to have the MOST readers, but to get your voice out there, even if no one is listening. It took me a while to learn that, but I finally have.
- Boundaries much?
For each blogger it's different. Some people won't post names, others won't reveal any personal information, it differs.
Every now and then I run across some 12 year old blogger who doesn't even know the meaning of the word privacy and they pass out their number, adress, and pictures of themselves. It's horrible. Not only that, it's annoying, and DANGEROUS. I'm not their mother, but their mother should be alerted. Haven't they seen any of those "To Catch a Predator" shows?
Or sometimes I'll run across bloggers who have almost no boundary at all. BHUDDA. No one wants to know about your boyfriend's penis malfunction or even wants to see pictures about it, and I'm sure he doesn't want the world to know about it either. Now, if your blog is about Erectile Disfuntion, and not about your college life, that's a different story.
- The perfect blogger.
I'm tired of reading these articles on websites saying THIS IS HOW YOU SHOULD DO IT. Dude, just recently when I went to Barnes and Noble I saw this book about tips on Blogging. There is no right or wrong way to blog. You just do it. No one is perfect, and each person has a different style.
Heck, I usually read blogs that are about real stuff, mostly impromtu and not pre composed. That's what I like to read. Do I write like that? No, but that's what separates me from most.
- Ugly Layouts
Everyone has gone through an Ugly layout phase. I know I have, seeing as I hand code most of my layouts, or I tweek templates. However, I cannot stand to read an Ugly layout. Ick. If you're not an experienced coder, don't make your own Layouts. For the love of Bhudda just stick to editing Banners. Wait, scratch that. If you're not good at making banners, don't do that either. The only thing worse than reading boring posts is to have a distasteful banner to look at.
- Am I done with this post?
Yes! I am! Are you happy? Did you learn something? Are my uses of "!" and "?" annoyong you?!
Really, I promise I'm usually not this snarky or whatever, I just felt like I needed to type some of this crap up.