What is even going on?

This blog is so convenient.

It lets me adequately analyze, and sometimes over analyze all of my thoughts, while allowing for some bonus input.

A lot of things have been changing in the personal lives of my friends, and myself as well.

High school relationships are finally starting to crumble, and while I knew, and perhaps even they knew it was inevitable, it still makes me sad.  Even though I was merely an observer in their relationships I still feel highly empathetic towards both parties.

A friend of mine recently broke up with her seemingly awesome boyfriend after he had been "trying to cheat" on her.  I personally don't know if he would have actually done anything, but he was actively trying to meet other girls to "hang out with" via chat-apps which was pretty sketchy, and then when she confronted him about it, he said it was because he had confidence issues and talking to those people on the apps gave him confidence.  Yeah.  Anyway.  The now ex-seemingly awesome boyfriend is more broken up about the whole ordeal than my friend is, but I still felt sad that their relationship didn't work.  I mean, before the whole ordeal he did make my friend happy.  For once she didn't hate the entire world like she usually did.  I guess she doesn't necessarily hate the world right now seeing as how she's already moved on, but still.

Another friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend of about 2 years, and I literally spent a good 10 minutes looking at pictures of them all happy and together, and then feeling even more sad.  I mean, they were so sporty and cute and compatible.  They had pretty much mapped out their lives post-university together.  Sadly, they decided to call it quits because they were too dependent on each other and were missing out on a lot of opportunities due to that fact.  Apparently they had also been fighting about said lost opportunities... She said they were still friends, so I guess they left each other on decent terms.  I don't know all of the details as of yet, because everyone just found out today that they broke up, so yeah.

I don't know.  Is it weird that I'm so emotionally invested in my friends' relationships?

And then while all of this is going on, I'm sort of in the beginning stages of a relationship type-thing with JB, and in the back of my mind I keep thinking about all of these factors that could spoil things, but mainly the fact that I will be leaving in the near future to go to basic training.  Albeit, it's only two months, but a lot can happen in two months.

I usually just tell my brain to shut up and stop thinking so far into the future about things, but it's just inherent to my nature.  I can't help it.

Ah well, for now I'm just going to enjoy things.  We've been talking on the phone at night after he gets home from work, and we've also gone out together the past three weekends.  He asked me out on a date, so we'll see how that goes.  I feel so... young compared to him.  Sometimes when we talk the age difference is so tangible because I'm fresh out of high school, just now starting my "adult" life and he already has a career and somewhat stable and routine life.  I feel very naive and out of my element around him.  It's not a bad thing though, it's just different from the other guys that I've been in relationships with.

And on top of all of this, another friend of mine is pregnant.  And, there's nothing wrong with being pregnant straight out of high school, but--- she's in college.  She's planning on getting a nursing degree.  Having a kid will definitely make that 100 times harder.  Also, her boyfriend is their only source of income, and he only makes minimum wage.  They barely have enough money to take care of themselves and their cats, how are they going to pay for a baby?  Diapers, formula, doctor visits, clothes, child care--- all of these things are very expensive.  And the thing that really infuriates me is the fact that they haven't been using reliable birth control.  They've just been tracking her ovulation cycle and having sex when she's "least fertile".  Yeah.  I know.  It sounds like a load of bullshit.  Probably because it is.

She and her boyfriend are excited about the baby right now, but later on?  When it's even harder to make ends meet? We'll see.

Man.  I'm going to bed.  I'm going to try not to freak out about my friends lives, or my own for that matter, and hope for the best.

More Art Girls Shenanigans

This past Thursday my friends and I had another Art Girls party!

In retrospect, I feel a little bummed because this was most likely the last time we were all be together in one place before we leave for our post-high school paths, but I take comfort in the fact that anytime we do meet it'll be super special.  Something about absence and hearts or whatever.

Anyway, we met at my friend Storm's house (a cute and tiny cottage type-thing she shares with her boyfriend) and freaked out over her two kittens, played some fun games, and made the people at Dominoes laugh when I called in to order a pizza.

We were lazy so we put our apples to apples cards in the rice cake bowl :P

As you can see, I was quite enthused about the kittens. I LOVE CATS.

Aside from apples to apples we played this game called 'bitches from school' where we wrote down names on pieces of paper, shuffled them around, stuck them on our forehead and then tried to guess who we had on our paper.  Yeah.  Most people play the game with celebrities, which we did the first round, but we decided to spice it up a bit.  If you're confused by my description of the game here's a clip from Inglorious Bastards that should help you out

Once we tired of our game we then proceeded to burn said bitches names.  For one of the rounds we actually had three papers of this guy named Nathan from our school.  Oops. He was just really awful, but we all had a good laugh and threw his name into the fire and laughed maniacally.

After we dispersed from Storm's house a few of us satisfied our late night munchies and met up at Taco Bell where I ordered a Doritos taco box.  In my mind I rationalized that I work my ass off at the gym, so why not treat myself to Doritos taco yummy goodness? Ironically, the Taco Bell was in front of my gym... I think it was a sign for me to eat as many tacos as I wanted because all would be forgiven in the morning after 30 minutes of cardio.

Night well spent, if you ask me.

Also, while waiting for the photos to upload, I spent 3 minutes and 26 seconds watching shirtless white guys dance to Indian music. More time well spent.

Weekend Shenanigans.

This weekend was centered around my friend Rebekka's 18th birthday. We continued on with our (3 year?) tradition of having a sleepover at her house and watching a movie. Every year I hand make her a super awesome card and since her birthday is in the middle of summer I usually get her gift while I'm on vacation.  Sadly, I didn't go anywhere special this year so in order to maintain the epicness level of her gifts I decided to do a little online shopping.

I ended up getting her a Merlotte's Bar and Grill shirt (from the show True Blood) and matching honey badger t-shirts for us, as seen below:

Look how long my hair is!

Then for the rest of the night we ate a shit-ton of gummy bears (seriously, like half of a LARGE bag), laughed about people that we graduated with who are now preggers, and all around had a good gossip session while we watched Downton Abbey season 1.  We were so sugar-high that anything that was even remotely funny sent us into a fit of giggles.

The next morning I had to wake up early and work-out, which was a severely bad idea because I was so tired. BUT I made sure to work my ass off extra hard because I knew that I would be eating a lot of junky-type food today when I went to my friend Andria's house.

We had a mini 'art girls' reunion and pretty much chilled on her bed from 2:30-7:30 eating vodka gummy bears, oreos, white chocolate chips, and drinking screwdrivers.  Despite drinking more than the other girls and eating A LOT of gummy bears, I didn't even get a buzz.  I found it hilarious, because besides the few sips of alcohol that my parents let me drink for holidays, the last time I had a serious drink was maybe the beginning of junior year...? I've never been shit-faced, but I've always chalked that up to my "social" drinking habits that dictate me only having 3 or 4 drinks tops. I guess I have good self control?

Andria apologized to me repeatedly due to the fact I was the only one not buzzed, but it was all cool.  I have to work-out tomorrow so it's better that I do so without a massive migraine.  Anyway, we're in the process of having another 'art girls' reunion before we all part ways, and there will probably be drinking, but hey, we're all of legal age.  Well, if we lived in England we would be....

Oh, before I forget, while I was at Andria's she gave me the souvenir she got me while she was in San Francisco at the beginning of summer. IT'S AN OCTOPUS CUP!

If you click the picture and enlarge it you can see my rainbow graffiti nails!

It's freaking awesome, and I've already brewed 2 cups of tea just so I could use it... My family thinks that I'm crazy. Oh well.  Personally, I think that it looks a bit like Cthulhu, which makes it even cooler.

Needless to say, I'm going to be drinking more tea/coffee.

December 22

I have been baking and making goodies for most of Christmas break. My house smells like the Keebler elf factory.

Today I had a secret santa gift exchange with five other friends at Panda Express and it was pretty awesome. My friend Madelyne (who is starting a blog!) made me an awesome Ravenclaw tile and bought me an awesome camera lens cup!

I liked the fact that our exchange was small and intimate because we were all able to pick out the perfect gifts for each other.

On another note, I still can’t believe that Christmas is only a few days away. The weather has been so sporadic in Texas that it makes it hard to even think that it’s Christmastime. Not to mention there’s been a lot of drama surrounding a nativity scene in a town nearby mine and it’s honestly really stupid. Some people in Wisconsin or something want them to remove the scene from the court house lawn due to the fact that it melds church and state.

As someone who is passively religious, I could care less if it was a Menorah, Nativity Scene, or a reindeer taking a huge crap on the lawn. Personally I find all holiday decorations beautiful and I think it’s pointless to throw such a big fit over something so little. I understand we have a freedom of religion clause in our US constitution, but instead of eliminating the representation of a certain religion I think we should foster equal representation. Also, Texas (and anywhere south of the Mason Dixon line) is going to be SUPER Christian. There’s no getting around it. I don’t know.

I guess I should step down off my soapbox and retire to bed.

Did I mention that I’m sick? I managed to stay healthy while at school, but as soon as I get home I end up catching something from my little brother (who has pneumonia). Needless to say I’ll be taking a hefty dose of Nyquil and be sleeping with the Vicks humidifier on tonight.
Cheers.

Worry

I think one of my friends may be bipolar or schizophrenic. And I’m not jumping to conclusions or anything. Year after year I’ve watched her slip deeper and deeper into her mental state and I’m honestly worried about her.

She’s been diagnosed with anxiety problems, but I think it’s more than that. I have anxiety, and whenever I get really bad I shut down and want to cry. I don’t want anyone to talk to me, touch me, or even look at me. She gets argumentative. She can go from loving a person and thinking that they’re awesome to loathing them because they merely expressed worry about her. She thinks that people are constantly out to get her and she can’t handle everyday situations like stress, deadlines, minor confrontations, or multitasking. She’s not empathetic towards others, which makes them feel frustrated towards her.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want her to hate me, but I also want her to get help. Maybe I should suggest she talk to a therapist/psychiatrist so she could vent to someone other than her friends? Would that be pushing it?

Because when she’s happy she’s great, but once she gets upset she gets violent and has uncontrollable anger. I’m worried about her.

Thrifting is fun

On Saturday I embarked upon a wonderful adventure with my friend Rebekka. Our original plan was to hit up an Estate sale and various scattered garage sales, but when you live in a town like mine, there isn't anything too special waiting to be "discovered" from the yards of our fellow townspeople. So we made a plan B and just hit up various thrift/antique places around town.

Overall we went to 3 shops, and even managed to swing by our local art museum. It was really fun, despite the scorching weather. No, really it was 102 degrees and sunny--- so you can imagine the heat index was more like 105.

The first place we went to was just your average thrift store. I ended up scoring a VHS of Pocahontas. I had a copy when I was little that I would watch OVER AND OVER until parts of it skipped so bad that you couldn't even see what was going on. Anyways, I would have much preferred a copy of it on DVD, but I'm cool with a VHS copy-- I mean it was only $1.99! While we were there we discovered this lounge/couch thing that was straight out of the 80s.

When I lifted up the cushion the wicker underneath was all duct-taped together, and clearly on it's last legs. It was only $6! What a steal! *sarcasm*

A record player straight out of the late 70s, early 80s! And look at me and all my no-make up glory! Shameless. Actually, there was pragmatic strategy behind my actions believe it or not. I knew that if I did indeed wear make up I would just sweat it off in the heat, so in order to save myself from looking like my face had melted off I settled for the au-natural look. And I was lazy.

Later on we went to this place called Betty's Antiques and it was HOT inside. It was really awesome though because it was this giant wearhouse stacked floor to ceiling with the coolest stuff you could imagine. It reminded me a bit of Wearhouse 13, but none of the stuff was paranormal... or at least I hope not. There were a lot of dream catchers, so who knows!
The entire place was jam packed and you had to squeeze your way into certain areas and there were books EVERYWHERE. I snagged a book club edition of Stephen King's Dead Zone for $3! I've already started the process to hollow it out.

Anyways, since then I've cleaned my grandparent's house (which honestly wasn't that bad) and met with Ashley to discuss yearbook things. I'm leaving for Universal Studios soon, so I really need to be packing and whatnot...

btw, Rebekka took all of these cool pictures!

Lock me in

Last night was my local library's annual teen lock-in! Last year it was great, this year it was also pretty great.

We had fun running through the library screaming, giggling, talking on the loud PA. We even took turns pushing each other in our beloved creaky wheel chair.

Oh what fun there is to be had in the library after hours! The night was spent well, and I payed for it today. When I got to my grandparent's house I crashed till around 6pm when I finally woke up. Then I had a cheeseburger. Yum.

We had some new girls come, some were awesome, some were not so... awesome. One in particular who recently started going out with the most volatile boy in the area. They were all mushy, exchanging "I love you sososooo much babe." texts every 30 seconds even though they've only been going out for less than a week. Gag me. Now. When I told her I thought her boyfriend was moody and not my type, she demanded in a very whiny way why I thought that. Ugh, maybe it's because he doesn't fit my list of very high standards, or maybe it's because HE'S A CREEPER.

Oh well, other than her, everyone's company was thoroughly enjoyed :)

While in the staff room I found a bunny head, which we used while playing hide and go seek. It was a bit creepy though.

While exploring the bookbinding room we found tons of colorful papers, and I picked up a yellow one and made a paper hat. Lovely right? We also received our "I survived the library lock-in" T-shirts we designed!! It's a hand coming out of a vortex in a book. Bekka, also known as MRoS and I designed it together. We are the bomb. The t-shirts were a big hit :)

More Bang, Less Buck

Today I went thrift shopping again, but this time with Bekka, better known as MRoS! We stopped by a local secondhand thrift store by the name of Hope's Closet, and it's sister store Hope's Closet 2.

There, we found some awesome steals and great buys. I found a navy blue dress with white polka dots which was cut in a cute early 60's style, a pastel ruffle pink shirt to go with my floral cotton skirt I got last time, two giant purse bags, and a shirt with large dots on it and a pair of new slacks(do I need any more dress pants?!).

Also while at the stores I stumbled across a treasure book wise: Hardcover Britanica volumes on Philosophy!! There were so many, but I only grabbed three of them. I bought vl. 42 Kant, vl. 35 Lock, Berkley, Hume, and vl. 54 Freud. I'm so happy!! Yet even more books to add to my ever growing Philosophy collection!






















We wore our dresses out shopping, because quite frankly where else were we going to wear them? I wore my floral orange/white dress, and she wore her sunshine yellow dress:) Unfortunately, the second picture came out blurry.... oh well, it was taken with Bekka's phone.

I thoroughly enjoyed today's shopping trip, now all I need to do is come up with an event to wear my new navy polka dot dress to.

Why you hating

Bekka's house is clean.

I don't know why, maybe it's because her family is nothing but a bunch of neat freaks.

We had planned on watching all three of the Star Wars movies with Luke Skywalker, but that planned failed because apparently we have short attention spans.

You know those fishies I have on my side bar now over there --->

Well I named them. Most of their names are pretty stupid and obvious, but oh well.
Blue = Walter
Green = AndHow
Yellow = Goldie
Pink = Pinky
Tan = Brownie
White = Whitey

And Pinky and AndHow have like this secret relationship, and almost all night we were narrating their nonexistent digital lives, yelling out stuff like "Pinky!!! Come back!!" and stuff.

I have a stomach ache from the coffee, because I didn't eat anything, but I'm not going to say anything to Bekka while I'm at her house.... which I'm at right now, doing this post. She can't read it till I go home.... It's just weird if she read it while I was here.

Art and Asians

Ok, so my day hasn't been totally bad. I woke up late, and purposefully slept in, and man was it nice.

Then I went to the gallery opening at the local fine arts museum to see all the student art displayed, and then took off to hang with some of my Asian friends.

Cecil Touchon, a Texas artist was juror for the exhibit and picked out many pieces that were his favorite, his own pieces weren't all that shabby.
He has many others that I took pictures of, but it's late, and I'm tired, so most likely I'll put them up at a different time.

3 Parts

So as my title implies, this will be an entry done in three parts, mainly to make it easier on me to organize my thoughts, and it may prove easy for you to digest and follow. Win Win right?

SCHOOL- Well, today I didn't have much to do. This morning in Debate I had to go against James, who is a Senior and Vice President of the Debate team. GREAT FUN. I think it was the first time I actually got equal competition. Also, I think I gave better speeches then him. Conviction can take you a long way.

Other than that In Debate class, nothing much happened for the rest of the day.... wait I had to get a scoliosis test, which was slightly awkward because i had to take my shirt off in front of the nurse and basically stand there with nothing but pants and a bra on. Not to mention the room was cold. Jeezus people ever hear of a Heater? It's freakin 35 degrees outside! No need to keep it a chilly 65 inside!

Also, I got harassed by some weird kid who keeps calling me Chuck. Every time he does that I'm just like, "DUDE. Who the fck are you?"

MOVIES- After school, my papa picked me up in his red truck because as mentioned before my parents are down in New Orleans without me. First I went out to eat with two new friends of mine who live in the Dallas/Central Texas area and then went to see Twilight. Yeah, it wasn't too fun because all these girls where screaming every time a romantic scene came up.

Hopefully when I go and see it next Friday it won't be as bad. Anyways, since I couldn't watch the movie in peace me and MG and MT just goofed off and had fun in the seats. Hehe I had fun using them as my guinea pigs*. Anyways, at the end of the night MG and I exchanged affections....... yeah.

Also, I'm still kinda in denial of the Twilight. I'm not too sure if it was a good or bad movie, so hopefully me seeing it again next weekend will reassure me on whether or not it was good or bad.

WHAT I REALLY MEANT*- Ok, so by guinea pigs, I mean I tested out my 'skills' in body language and psychology on MG. Yeah, I know, it's wasn't morally or ethically right for me to do it, but I really wanted a fresh person to test it out on! And the best part is that it worked! I hit all the main points I wanted to accomplish, which basically was, 1. Reinstate a connection, 2. Demonstrate possible interest, 3. Reward.

Points one and two was basically a tangle of different body language messages I was trying to read, and in turn send out. It's amazing how much you can read off a person once you have the knowledge to do so!

And the last point was basically a 'reward' for my efforts, which of course was a nice score. Too bad his friend was there. It made it kinda awkward with MT just standing there and looking kind of left out. Oh well, I achieved what I really wanted, which was results; and even though I slightly did use MG, it was all for a good cause.

Also, hehe me and MG were rapping Hollaback Boy during the baseball scene of the movie, and be assured we got quite a few looks.

My Friends are

Today I've been coming to the conclusion that no matter what my friends do, I'm not going to interfere with their lives.

It's none of my business what they do, even though I may think it's stupid.  Whatever, it doesn't matter.

If my friends want to smoke, it's their choice.  If they want to have sex it's their responsibility to use protection.

I'm not their mom, and I don't want to be.  I think it's just time to step back and not say anything.

Another Piece of the Puzzle

Ok, so I'm more confused.

Yesterday me and my friend (who asked for his name not to be released) B were talking. Just regular catch up talk that you usually go over when you haven't seen someone for a while when he's all like "So how's you're social experiment doing?"

At first I was like "WTF are you talking about?" but then I realized he was talking about L. Then I remembered friday night when I went to the Pop show recital. Man was I confused.

Over the past couple of days Nichole and I have been goofing around and slowly trying to piece together the weird and mysterious puzzle also known as L.

I thought that maybe I might be able to catch a clue about him when we took the right/left brain test, but when we counted up the results he broke even. How indecisive can someone be?

However, I think I might have attained an insightful little clue. I think he might be a stage person. Ya know, someone who might be totally cool while preforming say like a skit or song, but once you see them in person they're totally different......but then again that's just a theory.

A very far fetched one at that. Oh well.

It's better than the test tube theory......yeah?

The most indecisive person

Ever. On the face of the planet. Who, you ask?

Well if you must know it's a bookish quiet kid by the name of Alex Ball, or also known as Lib, or L.

For the past couple of days in art class we've been working on a personal collage and I've almost completed mine, but I still want to add things.

Anyways, we've spent two days collection things from various magazines and stuff, but Alex couldn't seem to find one thing.

I've always thought him to be a solitary person.....ya know the kind that just sits there, and is basically just a brain without stimulus.

But honestly! It's like he has no interests at all! I know for a fact that he likes soccer, and he's really smart, but he has no favorite food, drinks, music, etc.

Believe me, I've asked, bugged, pestered to the end of oblivion, but still I cannot for the life of me figure this guy out! GYAH. It's so frustraiting at times that I just want to say, "To hell with this guy, he can go be a loner for all I care."

But then again, that's what makes this whole thing fun. Trying to figure out the blank book. I will figure out who you are L. Even if I have to force you to figure that out for yourself. I will find out. Mark my words......

MWHAHAHAHAHAHA....... hehe yeah. Sorry about that. Haha since he couldn't find anything for himself i wen through all the magazines cutting things out for him that I thought he might like. Even if he doesn't like them it's not like he has a whole lot to work with....

My plan is to cut out so many ridiculous things that he'll finally pick something for himself to cut out. I'm pretty sure he won't want to put a Coca Cola Santa on his collage. Who knows? My plan may yet work if I keep at it.

Like I said, trying to figure this guy out is the most fun I've ever had in a while. He's so weird and mysterious.... either that or he's really just that boring of a person. Who knows?

Haha. Wow. I wonder what he'll be like next year? Hmmmmm...... Super Ryuuzaki!! Whoosh! Ah! Maybe he'll be like Lawliet (from DeathNote) and be a super cool, yet quirky international detective! Oh wow that'd be cool....... Ok, well Alex, if your eyes ever come across this post I'm sure you'll be infuriated, embarrassed, over joyed, driven to tears by this whole ordeal.

Eh, you might just blankly stare at the screen giving a silent chuckle or groan going, "Gawd, will this chick ever give up?" But I don't know if you would use the term chick.... you don't seem like the type of guy to say something like that... Er this is confusing, so I'm just going to stop this post before I go out of hand rambling about inner most thoughts that seemed to have commandeered my cranium.

Slaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddddddeeeeeeeeee....

(You're alomst there!!!)

Yay! Weekends! Going to Hannah's house is always fun, but this weekend it was particularly awesome. We went to a baby shower, and the movies, and her little brother taught me how to ride a Ripstick!! Man, Ripsticks are hard to balance on! Also, I went to BooksAMillion to bug Kirk(bart- hehe I alost wrote barf). I kept on asking how old he was but he wouldn't tell me. Oh well, next time I go there to buy DeathNote I'll bug him again. I think he hates me.......hehe YAY being annoying is funducational! W00T!

I bought the Samurai Champloo art/roman album book. It's really cool! I mainly got it for all the pictures of Jin in it. AHHHH He's like an ultra-bishi!! I was going to buy DeathNote volume 1 but they only had it in the dvd/book form......wah. Oh well.

Oh yeah, when we went to Wet Pets 'n Critters we saw Skai and Christena!!!! I haven't seen Cristena in like forever!!! It was a nice little reunion.

Hehe over the rest of the weekend me and Hannah were making Chowder impersonations, and talking about boys........ehhhh ya know, normal girl stuff. SLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha poor dude in my health class. It's not his fault his name is sosososoooo very cool.

Also today me and Hannah made Kenne a sock monkey cookie cake for his birfday. He better like it or else!!!!! Grrrrr we spent a lot of time on it! Also, stupid serta mattress(caleb) better not try to eat it or else I'll be really mad. Like yelling mad. Arg, Caleb is such a butthead. Why is he so mean? It's like he's going through mood swings or something.... And like the only things we have in common is wrestling, and music, and random other stuff. Why did he turn so mean?

Ah, oh well. I can always find a replacement Caleb..... like.........um........ok, so maybe I can't. Ehh maybe someone will beat him up and then he'll stop being so mean. Hopefully.