Thursday, April 12, 2012

Things I need to to stop saying before I go to university

1. I'm not awesome.

reason: Growing up I always felt inadequate. I honestly believed that everyone was better than me, so I pushed myself to be up to "their level." Obviously I still harbor traces of that mind-set, and while I am trying to overcome it, occasionally the rich 'my parents buy me anything' crowd gets to me. I am awesome because I work hard. I am awesome because I'm an honest friend. I'm awesome because someday all of this will be useful to me.

2. You can suck my big black dick.

reason: Honestly, this is what I say when I'm offended, frustrated, or mad at someone. I really need to stop saying this because, well, I don't want people to think I have a big black dick. Also, I realize that the phrase is vulgar and crude, and somewhat racist/sexist, but whateves. Mainly I don't want people to think that I have male bits.

3. "No" when I mean yes.

reason: I confuse other people when they ask me if I can pass them a piece of paper and reply "No," only to hand them a sheet a few seconds later. "Can you open that door for me please?" NO. *opens door* "Would you mind taking notes for me in class when I'm absent?" NO. *takes notes* So yeah. I know that's really douchey.

4. Well actually....

reason: Because correcting people annoys them. Especially when you start off with something that sounds as pretentious as that. I need to learn to be patient and tolerant of others, especially when it comes to things like that. Being  a no-it-all is no bueno.


And that about sums it up. I'm going to try to be better at not saying these things, because I really want to make a good impression on everyone.

10 comments:

  1. Ah but if you don't correct someone they never learn.

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  2. Okay, I obviously need to start hanging out with you more because I have never heard you say any of these things and I'm very ashamed of it.

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  3. @Aria Let's hang out together then! We can work out... or you can work out while I'm passed out on the ground.

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  4. I tell people to SMD more often than I'd like to admit. I also frequently correct people who say, "I have a temperature," rather than, "I have a fever." Of course you have a temperature. Everything has a temperature. Idiots.

    On second thought, I apologize if you say "temperature." You're not an idiot.

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  5. Another reason you should probably stop saying "you can suck my big black dick" is because you're clearly not black and some people might actually think you have a penis and take you up on your offer and then be sorely disappointed when they realize you're not actually a hermaphrodite.

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  6. YOU ARE SO AWESOME. And I cannot even imagine you saying "you can suck my big black dick," but I love you for it. Also, sometimes people need to be corrected, so don't snuff that one out completely.

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  7. If I ever heard you say "you can suck my big black dick" I think I would die. Just die.

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  8. I cannot picture you saying #2, but I do not doubt you. This is awesome. It just made my day. I want ot fly to the Americas right now just to hear you say it to some douche.

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  9. #2 is too hilarious to stop saying!

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  10. Whoa, #2 is one that I never imagined you saying. ._.

    Myself, I need to stop dropping memes and obscure internet references in everyday conversation.

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