Sunday, June 5, 2011

On being a female.

So this morning I read Ash's post "Be more like the man you were made to be" and I felt like his description of what men are/should be was pretty on point.

In fact, they pretty much describe my dad to a tee. However, I can also agree
with this whole heartedly:

I know a ton (and see) a ton of older aged guys I certainly wouldn't
consider men. They just seem wildly immature, have a seeming lack of
and are just - unmanly.

I'm sure right now the ratio of immature guys to non immature guys is pretty high because, well I'm still in high school. However next year when I go to college? According to my friends that are there right now not much has changed. So yeah. People will be people. The part of Ash's post that mainly caught my attention was this:

I guess I'm old fashioned in a sense that I also think a man should be able to
(and I sure hope I'm not being sexist here) take care, look after and respect
the girl he cares about, and do everything he can to protect her from whatever,
and always be there for her. I think any guy who can't do any of these,
especially the parts about respecting her, automatically is not capable of being
considered a 'man'. In my eyes, anyway. What kind of a man would mistreat a
woman? That's about as low as you can get, and something I sure as hell can't

Men should be like that, but often there's a big trade off that a lot of females have to deal with. A lot of guys that I've run across that are considered "gentleman" are often too soft.

In my family I'm the eldest child and grandchild. Amongst my peers I'm also in the "older" quartile so I'm often taking leadership positions in virtually everything I'm a part of. I don't know if it's nurture or nature, but I'm also a competitive control freak.

Often I find myself feeling guilty because a lot of the time I'm a real bitch. I run across these mild natured guys, like the ones mentioned above, that are honestly really nice, I mean they open doors, ask to help carry things, kill bugs, you name it--- and I find them annoying. I often refuse their help, at my own expense, because I'm stubborn and possess some type of complex that makes me want to be the dominant person in situations. Recently I was confronted about this, and at first I was offended(perhaps because of the variety of words they used), but after a while I realized that it was true.

In this day and age it's commonplace for a guy to get a away with douchey behavior because he's merely being manly. Personally, I run across TONS of guys that think they can get away with calling themselves men simply due to the fact that they can grow facial hair and sleep around(keep in mind I'm typecasting from my age group so....), however at the end of the day, when the party is over and all the weed is gone they all (literally) go home to mommy.

I can't stand guys like that. I also can't stand the overly chivalrous ones either. An impasse.

Due to the fact that there is an alarming number of guy douches many females have to adapt. A rough exterior is put up to combat their behavior, and many times it results in bitchy behavior that equals douchey-ness. And the nice guys are left to die in the dust as the idea of being a man of honor decays with the rest of society.

I guess what I'm trying to say through all this mumbo jumbo is that as a girl, it's hard to accept traditional gentlemen. We're not used to it. Blame the feminist revolution, loose morals, Americanism, or whatever--- the fact is, things aren't what they used to be.

In order for the old fashion ideology of courtesy to survive there has to be a change on both sides. A happy medium between nice/doormat and manly/assertive must also exist.

I don't know. This nigahiga video pretty much sums things up though(there's also a Kev Jumba version).


  1. Like you, I get very tired of guys that go out of their way to be gentlemen. At the same time, I hate obnoxious ones that practically insult you every time you speak.

    It's a sad dilemma we face.

    Oh, and now that songs gonna be stuck in my head. Ahhhh.

    P.S. Are you psychic? I swear I was going to add you on Facebook soon.

  2. *song's

    Sorry; I'm a grammar freak.

  3. @Lizzie Haha it's cool, and nah, not psychic... You just showed up in Facebook's friend suggestions :P

  4. i think youre overthinking in

  5. Ha, impasse was totally on the SAT. Just saying. :) But yeah, I understand your predicament. Douches will be douches, but then the sickeningly gentlemanly ones can just be way too much to handle. I would rather have more gentleman than douche, though. :P

  6. Some men confuse the term "gentleman" with "doormat." I'm assuming the men that you've met are all doormats that throw themselves in front of trains for their women. (Think: Grenade by Bruno Mars. Oh, GOD...)

    But real gentleman intrigue me. I like them. They're not complete pushovers but they have respect for woman, unlike SOME other guys we probably know that call girls "whores" and "bitches" and all those other terms. A gentleman is cool. I'd love meeting a gentleman -- a REAL one. They're so rare, and I think that's part of the fascination.

    Anyways. Good post :P

  7. I think in my best efforts to be a gentleman I'm nice and caring to women, but I won't hide the fact that I like sex, and don't expect to let your grammatical errors go un-noticed.

    (I also enjoy long walks on the beach, a quiet evening in and prefer double dates...)


  8. @Lewis Haha it sounds like you're writing a Lonely Hearts ad :P

  9. I love this post.
    Like I want to print it out and frame it.

    Although I am kind of weary to gentleman-y guys, I think it's really cute when those guys do pop up at random times.
    But then when they go away or whatever, you forget guys like that exist.