Saturday, May 16, 2009


Dear Jacob,

You are, for lack of a better word-- complicated. Would it be weird to say that we are complicated? Now that I type it, it is weird. Oh well.

I'm pretty confident when I say that if it were not for Debate we would have never crossed paths. Though we have a few similar interests, you and I are from different social circles. At times, you can be really awesome and I wonder why I ever associated negative feelings with you, then two seconds later you do something stupid/annoying and I remember why at times you make me angry.

Those times when you're awesome, when you speak with the eloquence that no one your age should have, expressing your thoughts in ways that change the way others think; Those are the times that I wonder how someone so--- great can exist?

I'm envious of your commitment to the Catholic church, and your set of standards and beliefs. You actually seem to have purpose in your life, and your hate of apathy is something to be admired. You go against the grain in a way that you're not just rebelling to anything, but to something that has done injustice. Your ideas and thoughts are wholly of your own formulation. I don't think you'll ever just believe in something just because you were told to do so.

You care, and feel for those you have never met. When you speak of an injustice in the world you're not doing it to look cool and show off to everyone that you're only caring for the attention.

Then, you say something, or do something that pushes my buttons. It could be something minuscule or something of grand scale, but regardless of size whatever you do aggravates me at times.

However I've been feeling apathetic towards you. The usual antics that used to infuriate me just don't matter to me anymore. When I thought of the upcoming year, and what it would be like when you were gone, instead of feeling scared or sad I felt--- nothing. Just an "Oh well."

When I first met you I knew that it was going to be weird. 'It' being the whole student in teacher position teaching the younger student. There was no true enforcement of authority, and of course it was one of those situations where you didn't know whether to be friends, or just strictly on teacher/student basis.

From my point of view, I really wanted to stick to the teacher/student basis, and I think we did well on that front. I don't really consider us "friends" in the thought where a friend is someone who you confide in and hang out with when you're bored. I do think we're on acquaintance level though.

So, now that I've typed this up I realize that I don't really have a purpose for this letter. I don't really know how I feel about you. I don't really care how I feel about you, because you'll be gone in a matter of months, possibly weeks. Have a nice rest of your life.

1 comment:

  1. even if you still don't know how you feel, writing about it is pretty insightful right? you've still elucidated some things.