As of late, a guy friend of mine has been complaining about how girls don't want to date him despite the fact that he's a nice and decent guy.
And I was honest with him.
The reason why a lot of girls automatically "friendzone" him is because he lacks confidence. He's always second guessing himself and putting himself down, even though he has no reason for his low self esteem. He's good looking, he's nice, he's funny, and (bonus!) is good at art. But what girl wants to listen to a guy mumble and make self depreciating jokes? That just makes everything awkward.
Guys on the internet complain about assholes and douches always getting the girl, but think for a second. Those guys have high confidence levels. Confidence, above all things, is what sets guys apart from each other.
While douches lack refinement, they still have an advantage over shy guys. They actively seek out women and are persistent until they succeed. They take pride in their appearance and enjoy feeling powerful. People tend to gravitate towards whoever gives off an aura of power.
While feminism has become a new facet of our society, women still enjoy being sought after and wooed. Chivalry and gallantry, while some argue is archaic, is often rewarded. I've yet to witness a girl telling a guy to piss off for opening a door for her.
If nice guys don't want to finish last, they need to grow some balls and step up to the plate. I'm not advocating for guys to act like douchebags. No. Cockiness is not cool. Being comfortable with oneself? Yes. That is cool.
In essence, that's what I told my friend.
Well, actually I told him to suck it up and grow some balls because I was tired of attending his pity parties every day. Seriously though. He complains about not having a girlfriend ALL. THE. TIME.