So every time I log into Facebook I'm bombarded by all of my friend's posts about college, and to be quite honest I'm a little sad and bitter.
Also, I forgot to unfriend a lot of people that were from High Point, so it sucks even more because I'm seeing them at the university that I was supposed to attend before my life plans got rearranged.
Unintentionally I've been a bit angry at my parents and of course they have no idea why. I'm not going to explain it to them either. They can just endure my pissy attitude until I'm done feeling sorry for myself.
Right now I'm in the process of weeding through my 454 Facebook friends. Hopefully it'll ease my poor attitude. I think I'm going to avoid looking at my news feed as well. I'm only going to check notifications and messages.
Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for everyone going to college. I really, truly, am. But it still sucks for me. And I think I'm going to take the weekend to wallow in my own self pity before I suck it up and carry on with my life. I need to just let myself come to terms with everything. Everything is more real. I'm actually not entering university with my friends. I'm actually in the Air Force, waiting for a ship date.
I know in a handful of years I'll look back and think, "Wow, not being able to get those student loans was a blessing in disguise!"
But right now? No. It still sucks. After four years of thinking about nothing but going to a university, you can understand why it's so hard for me to adjust my mindset.
Ugh. I'm going to stop now before I punch myself in the face for being such a baby about this situation.