The anger that I feel right now is nearing astronomical levels.
Like, eye-twitching, "I want to throw plates at the wall and break things," levels. Levels that make the F word my best friend.
From the time I was about 13 I told myself that I would never, ever, under any circumstance, work for my dad. He is notorious for being an asshole.
When his tech guy quit on him last month I thought, "Hey, why not help out? What's the worst that can happen?"
Well, the worst is happening.
On top of him giving me crap when we work out at the gym for not being "farther along," I get bitched at for every single tiny glitch on the website.
And he treats me like an idiot when it happens, because "Hey, you went to school for this right? You should be able to fix everything instantly without troubleshooting."
NO, IN FACT, I DID NOT. ASSHOLE. EVERYTHING I KNOW IS FROM FUCKING GOOGLE. I AM A HOBBYIST.
Also, his business partner has taken to editing the pages himself, so EVERYTHING gets fucked up, and even though I didn't do it, it's my fault and I have to fix it.
I know I'm not a professionally trained, and I'm no where near as proficient as their first tech guy, but they should at least let me do my job. Let me edit the pages! Tell me what you need done! I will do it! With a smile! It's not rocket science! Just give me a second to do it! ----Because when you and your business partner touch the pages YOU FUCK THEM UP SEVERELY.
All of these thoughts have been brewing in my mind for the past, I don't know, two weeks? Coupled with the fact that my dad is now making me do my sit-ups and push-ups in front of him because he thinks that I'm lying to him about doing them every night.... WHY WOULD I LIE? When my back and shoulder muscles are constantly sore, so sore they twinge with pain, how can he think that I'm lying? Sorry I can't do more than five push-ups in a row. I'M WORKING ON IT. Every. Fucking. Night. I don't see his fat ass doing any push-ups. Also, he should count his blessings that I'm being nice and not pressuring them for a paycheck right now. I'm letting them pay me when their business starts to pick up (which it is slowly doing right now).
Despite all of the above, my anger usually only manifests itself in silence and defiant "Sure, ok"s. I know it's not good to bottle up emotions and feelings, but I honestly don't feel like fighting with my dad. He likes to fight dirty and say things like, "Well, if you don't like it here you can always live with your mother."
That shit hurts.
And plus, again, I feel like all of this is mental preparation for the crap I'm going to have to endure in basic training. Assholes will be assholes.