Saturday, November 17, 2012


3 lines

Bitches please hear me/
I will punch you in the face/
If you are nosey

Bill Maher, high five, man/
Please pontificate loudly/
To conservatives

Weed is not that bad/
Except, of course, in excess/
Like all things in life

3 months remaining/
My departure imminent/
I am so ready

Cuddling is nice/
Like sweaters and sweet hot tea/
During a snow storm

Texas seceding/
So beyond idiotic/
Seriously, stop

I like Thanksgiving/
But not my dumb, loud cousins/
Oh Buddha, help me

Everybody needs/
To calm the fuck down today/
Yes, including me

The Kimya Dawson/
Inspired this haiku post/
Via her Twitter


  1. Texas seceding is very stupid but I think a lot of what comes out of that state is. I'm glad you're feeling ready for when you leave, it's a huge change, but you'll do great.

    1. I hope I'll do great! I'm really excited!

  2. "seriously, stop." favoriteee.
    also, kimya dawson's twitter has been hilarious all day long and it makes my soul happy.

  3. Haha, I love the first one! :P x

  4. "To calm the fuck down today." Great!

  5. I like these a lot. I love quirky haikus.

    <3 Melissa

  6. I wish the Buddha would help me with my annoying young relatives. Jesus doesn't seem to be doing much.

    Also, working the words "pontificate" and "conservatives" into a single haiku is awesome, as all of these are.