Sunday, March 4, 2012

I'm going to have to get used to...

...a new pattern.

At my house, in my family, we have a system. It may be an ever evolving, hectic, and insane system, but it's a system none the less.

On the weekend my sister and I alternate between either cleaning the bathroom or the floors.

At night when I'm sleeping or attempting to do late night homework (like now) the dog cuddles with me.

Also on the weekend my sister and I alternate who sleeps in my little brother's room with him so that if he wakes up in the middle of the night, someone is there for him.

Unlike most of my friends I spend A LOT of time with my family. Regardless of whether or not I enjoy every second spent with them, I hold this time as something sacred and necessary. Almost every night of the week we eat dinner together, at our dinner table.

Next year I won't have the privilege of doing homework on the couch while watching Swamp People with my dad on the History Channel.

I feel like I'm more attached to my family than my other friends. I mean, I have 3 younger siblings, one of them only 3 years old.

I'm moving about 1,000 miles away from home.

Don't get me wrong, I'm ECSTATIC to be going away to such an awesome uni, but at the same time--- I'm going to miss my pattern. I'm going to miss my little brother. I'm going to miss being able to have my family around 24/7.

I feel like I have 'leaving the nest' syndrome.

I'm afraid of being homesick. Of failing and having to go to college somewhere local and having to awkwardly explain that I couldn't handle leaving home.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't the oldest child.


  1. Well best of luck to you. I have problems with change so I don't think I'd be able to go through with such a huge change.

  2. I'm an only child and I spend very little time with my parents/family, so I will not be having the same problem as you in that regard. I will, however, miss my 'pattern' too, of having my own bathroom and taking the car to do whatever I want whenever I want, and all of that.

    I think college is going to be a big change either way, but I'm sure you will be okay. :) It will be hard but you can handle it. And it will be awesome.

  3. When I went off to college (granted, it wasn't 1,000 miles away), I had to leave my (now) three-year old nephew. We've always been really close, and it's always been me who has taken care of him when he has been inconsolable by everyone else. I totally get it.

    It's worth it, though. I promise.

    And your dreams should scare ya :)

  4. Being the youngest of three I have experienced four different patterns. One was when all of us were no older than 12, playing together outside often or my brothers would play while I did my own thing. Another when my oldest brother was in high school, always leaving for this and that, spending more time at his girlfriend's. The next when my older brother and I had rooms to ourselves, but we still shared a bathroom, a computer, and a high school. Lastly, the one I am in now, is being alone. Having to text or call my brothers to tell them news.

    I miss them so much.

    I think college will be a good change for all of us. :)

  5. That's an amazing picture at the end.

    Aww, don't worry. Change is healthy, and it can definitely be fun. You'll still be able to visit family during vacations, right?

    Everything will be okay (:

  6. Guess that would be a pretty massive step, leaving that all behind. Even if it is temporary.

    I guess we never really know what we cherish until we're about to leave or let go of it, huh?

    Anyways, chin up, you'll still get to see them throughout the year. And like you yourself said, you're really looking forward to university, so it won't be all bad. I'm sure you'll have a hell of a time while you're away, and a hell of a time when you get back home.

    Win-win situation?

  7. You're going to love it. This is what skype is for!