...a new pattern.
At my house, in my family, we have a system. It may be an ever evolving, hectic, and insane system, but it's a system none the less.
On the weekend my sister and I alternate between either cleaning the bathroom or the floors.
At night when I'm sleeping or attempting to do late night homework (like now) the dog cuddles with me.
Also on the weekend my sister and I alternate who sleeps in my little brother's room with him so that if he wakes up in the middle of the night, someone is there for him.
Unlike most of my friends I spend A LOT of time with my family. Regardless of whether or not I enjoy every second spent with them, I hold this time as something sacred and necessary. Almost every night of the week we eat dinner together, at our dinner table.
Next year I won't have the privilege of doing homework on the couch while watching Swamp People with my dad on the History Channel.
I feel like I'm more attached to my family than my other friends. I mean, I have 3 younger siblings, one of them only 3 years old.
I'm moving about 1,000 miles away from home.
Don't get me wrong, I'm ECSTATIC to be going away to such an awesome uni, but at the same time--- I'm going to miss my pattern. I'm going to miss my little brother. I'm going to miss being able to have my family around 24/7.
I feel like I have 'leaving the nest' syndrome.
I'm afraid of being homesick. Of failing and having to go to college somewhere local and having to awkwardly explain that I couldn't handle leaving home.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't the oldest child.