In fact, all of this emotional bottling is not healthy. After a while all the little stuff starts to pile up and my throat feels constricted and I just want to collapse into a pile of nothing so that I don’t have to feel so bad.
I’ve been reading over the Holstee manifesto, and looking at this picture a lot:
But it’s not doing much. And I’ve been trying to be emotionally available for everyone else and I feel like I’ve just absorbed all of their troubles. And mainly it's been adults just dumping all of their personal problems on me, and I can't help but feel useless. I know it's impossible for me to help out in 90% of the situations, but still. I want to help. I can only be so assuring before I start to feel miserable... if that makes any sense.
College. Finishing up senior year. Doing well.
Everything feels impossible.
But who knows. I’ll drink some tea, sleep a little more, study, knit, and reassure myself that tomorrow will be better.
As Kurt Vonnegut would say: So it goes.