Personally, I've never been keen criticizing someone's weight because I know that often there is a medical reason behind why a person is too big/skinny, but I do criticize.
My "cattiness" usually manifests itself comments about a person's shitty personality or lack of talent, and I couldn't help but wonder if this was a reflection upon myself, or if I was legitimately saying something constructive about someone.
Take for instance this girl that I graduated with. Let's call her Princess. She's very "loud" and "proud" in a Jennifer Hudson wannabe manner and takes every opportunity to show off her vocal abilities.
Sadly those abilities cause everyone within the vicinity to visibly cringe when she starts to butcher an Adele or Alicia Keys song. Everyone talks shit about her voice, but she doesn't care. She thinks her voice is beautiful, and haters? They gonna hate.
I almost pity her due to the fact that her delusion has ostracized her from a lot of people, but then again, she's also a mondo bitch who likes to fight with people.
Am I a bad person for laughing when someone cracks a Princess joke? Especially when the joke is actually true? Is making fun of her terrible voice equally as bad as criticizing her for her weight? Are the Spice Girls going to kick me out of their fanclub for being cruel to a fellow female?
Thankfully, I haven't seen Princess since graduation, and I don't think I'll see her until the next reunion. I don't want to be the reason why someone has insecurities.
Well she clearly doesn't have insecurities. This is a bit of a touchy subject, and one that you could think about for a while and still not come to a good conclusion. I mean, in a way, criticising someone can also help them to overcome their faults. Being made aware of your faults, and how bad they are, can depressed and upset you, but it can also motivate you to better yourself. People need to be made aware of their faults, but there is a difference between constructive criticism and outright abuse. If a joke is good though, feel free to laugh.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really touchy subject. For me, I tend not to criticize or gossip about people in public, although I might gossip over the phone with my best friend. In her case, I think you should have actually told her that her voice is bad:it could have saved her a lot of trouble later on. That's how most American Idol auditioners are made, I think. People just go along with them and don't tell them their real views. Although if she's not listening there isn't much that you can do.
ReplyDeleteOh, more than one person has approached her to tell her she can't sing. She then proceeds to yell at them and call them "haters".
DeleteThere's no right answer, I don't think. I am very critical of people I don't know, I judge people just as much as the next person before getting to know them. I think being critical of appearances or of personality are both the same, though. We don't know why Princess has this way about her. She may have a story that makes her fight people and be loud.
ReplyDeleteI think we're all insecure. Especially the people who don't look like they are.
Here's how I look at it:
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Plato
I remind myself of this every time that I judge others, and it makes me sympathetic to all people, even when I really do not want to be.
It's so tough. Honestly, you never know the impact actions can have and kind actions especially can really lift someone up.
ReplyDeleteDear Kayleigh, Plato did not write that! He would not write pithy things in English! Don't just regurgitate bullshit internet quotes and pass them off as wisdom.
ReplyDeleteAh. Ok, well I still think it is a valuable quote nonetheless.
DeleteIs this better?
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Pithy Internet Quote
It doesn't really matter who wrote it, it still can bring about inspiration to be good to others. Is that wrong to comment on something with a silly quote if I think it might help in the situation? We can leave it up to the owner of the blog to decide, and she may take off my comment and this one with no hard feelings if it was offensive to her.
Sorry, I overreacted.
DeleteI'm not sure if this makes me a worse person but I'm the silent judger kind of guy. I'll smile, and nod, and be polite. But in my head I am mocking you to no end. I guess I'm not vocally critical.
ReplyDeleteThere are plenty of people out there who think we're on civil and friendly terms but we're not. I despise them and besides Theresa, no one else would know.
No, I don't think you're a worse person for being a silent judge. I'm the same way. I usually don't vocalize my opinions on someone unless I'm talking to my best friend in a secure environment.
DeleteI don't believe in burning bridges unless completely necessary. And by "completely necessary" I mean severing ties because the person is bat shit crazy and won't leave you alone and stalks your house even when you're not home.