The anger that I feel right now is nearing astronomical levels.
Like, eye-twitching, "I want to throw plates at the wall and break things," levels. Levels that make the F word my best friend.
From the time I was about 13 I told myself that I would never, ever, under any circumstance, work for my dad. He is notorious for being an asshole.
When his tech guy quit on him last month I thought, "Hey, why not help out? What's the worst that can happen?"
Well, the worst is happening.
On top of him giving me crap when we work out at the gym for not being "farther along," I get bitched at for every single tiny glitch on the website.
And he treats me like an idiot when it happens, because "Hey, you went to school for this right? You should be able to fix everything instantly without troubleshooting."
NO, IN FACT, I DID NOT. ASSHOLE. EVERYTHING I KNOW IS FROM FUCKING GOOGLE. I AM A HOBBYIST.
Also, his business partner has taken to editing the pages himself, so EVERYTHING gets fucked up, and even though I didn't do it, it's my fault and I have to fix it.
I know I'm not a professionally trained, and I'm no where near as proficient as their first tech guy, but they should at least let me do my job. Let me edit the pages! Tell me what you need done! I will do it! With a smile! It's not rocket science! Just give me a second to do it! ----Because when you and your business partner touch the pages YOU FUCK THEM UP SEVERELY.
All of these thoughts have been brewing in my mind for the past, I don't know, two weeks? Coupled with the fact that my dad is now making me do my sit-ups and push-ups in front of him because he thinks that I'm lying to him about doing them every night.... WHY WOULD I LIE? When my back and shoulder muscles are constantly sore, so sore they twinge with pain, how can he think that I'm lying? Sorry I can't do more than five push-ups in a row. I'M WORKING ON IT. Every. Fucking. Night. I don't see his fat ass doing any push-ups. Also, he should count his blessings that I'm being nice and not pressuring them for a paycheck right now. I'm letting them pay me when their business starts to pick up (which it is slowly doing right now).
Despite all of the above, my anger usually only manifests itself in silence and defiant "Sure, ok"s. I know it's not good to bottle up emotions and feelings, but I honestly don't feel like fighting with my dad. He likes to fight dirty and say things like, "Well, if you don't like it here you can always live with your mother."
That shit hurts.
And plus, again, I feel like all of this is mental preparation for the crap I'm going to have to endure in basic training. Assholes will be assholes.
Aww I'm sorry. But you're only there for a few more months right? Though I don't think basic training will be any better...
ReplyDeleteJust remember, soon you'll be trained in various forms of unarmed, and armed, combat. When he gives you trouble you can just beat the crap out of him. It's good you aren't flying in to a rage, but yeah it's not very good to bottle things up. I hope that he calms down, and you do too.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. Venting is good, though. My best advice? Drink lots of water. It's strangely calming in the most heated situation. And one of your best solutions because you're right, assholes with be assholes.
ReplyDeleteWater IS shockingly calming. Honestly, I think basic training will be better, because at basic you won't care about the person who is berating you. IT's always worse to be given crap by someone close to you...
ReplyDeleteIn basic training, at least there will be lots of other people there going though the same stuff as you. It's a small plus.
ReplyDeleteI understand your dad being stressed, but he shouldn't resort to cheap personal attacks like that. What's the worst that could happen if you fire one back at him??
ReplyDeleteAww, I hope things get better :3 x
ReplyDeleteWow. I don't know how you put up with that. I guess the younger you are the easier it is to deal with assholes, because you are always taught to believe "it gets better." Actually the truth is, it doesn't get better, it gets worse. The assholes never seem to go away. I would blog about this, but I might be blamed for causing a rash of suicides across America. I guess it does help build up your mental toughness though, to look at it from a positive standpoint. As far as the exercising goes, from my own experience, I have learned that when you are that sore, what you need is rest, and not to do more push ups and sit ups. One needs to build up their strength a little bit at a time. Just have faith in yourself, and realize that it's not you with the problem, it's them.
ReplyDeleteYou're a better person than I am. I'd be snapping back at him constantly.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the ultimate dick move would be to screw everything up on the last day before you go. Just break everything to the best of your ability. Because from what I understand, your Dad is going to blame you for any problems after you leave anyways, might as well give him something to complain about.