Tomorrow I'll post about my weekend adventures, but right now I'm just going to ramble.
I know I'm leaving soon. Like, duh, I've only been counting down all the days. I'm excited, scared, sad, happy, and everything in-between.
My parents, especially my stepmom, have been hounding me about my relationship with JB. Yes. He's 8 years older than me. Yes. My grandmother will probably disown me if she knew about us. They're like a broken record. Other things they say:
"We don't want you to throw away your future for him."
"He's already had time to find himself and get settled."
"Don't tie yourself down to one person so soon."
And I'm just like, HOLD UP. Did I miss the memo about when our relationship got that serious? Apparently I did.
Last time I checked, I'm still leaving in February... Whether or not I'm still in a relationship is entirely up to me. I'm still going to live my life and do everything I want to do, regardless.
I mean, while I'm away JB will have an interview with a news station in Mississippi for an anchor position, and I hope he gets it. It's been his goal to get a full time position in front of the camera, making the transition from behind the scenes.
If we break up because of the distance, that's ok. That's just life.
And I tell my parents this, but they're adamant in the fact that my relationship with JB is just a huge blemish in my life/future.
Why? He's honestly the greatest guy I've ever dated. He's really considerate, he's responsible, motivated, established... the only things I can fault him for is his persistence in wanting to take me to a scary movie, and sometimes he can be really cheesy.
If our relationship falls apart, that's ok. IT'S TOTALLY FINE. I don't know how many times I can repeat this. Maybe I should get a banner made?
Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have a long-term serious relationship* with JB, but with the directions we're going in... The most I can do is remain optimistic, and do everything on my end to make it work.
And whenever I tell this to my parents, they don't listen to me. I know everything they're telling me comes from a good place, but I'm 19. I'm leaving home permanently in a little over a month.
I need to be able to make "mistakes" and trust my own judgment.
Am I crazy?
*I don't plan on marrying ANYONE until well after I'm old enough to purchase/drink my own alcohol at my wedding.
No, you are definitely not crazy. As much as your parents would like to think they know what is best for you, they don't. I wouldn't ignore them entirely -- perhaps there is a kernel of truth in what they say -- but you have a good head on your shoulders and will make good decisions. They raised you well. And although that might not always be the kindest thing to throw back in their face, hopefully they will see you're responsible, independent, and capable of being in a relationship that may go further or not.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I ever realized he was 8 years older than you. It doesn't seem to matter, though. When you find someone who makes your days that much brighter, age shouldn't be a barrier.
I love you and I know you will sort things out. :)
While what they're saying is coming from a good place, they do need to realise you've gotten the message, and that you've tried to rebuke them several times without success. What happens between you and JB is between the two of you in the first place. If they're so sure that things are going to go wrong between you two they should just wait patiently for it to happen and then be there for you while pretending to not judge you. Like most parents.
ReplyDeleteyour parents are just being parents. ugh.
ReplyDeletei'm keeping my relationship secret because if my parents know they'll say I'm making all of my decisions based on proximity to boy. I mean, really, really, I'm not like that. I'm mega independent and believe that if two people want to be together they will be! regardless of distance or anything else. If it doesn't work out, the relationship wasn't right for one of them. but I'm young, I "don't know anything" and "haven't experienced anything," so my mom and dad think i'd throw my life away or become some submissive woman.
Anyway, you, Lizzi are a smart girl and as long as you know you're doing things for you who cares about everyone else? (I mean, obviously we care about parents and their nagging... but God I wish we didn't!)
Of course your parents can have their opinions, but hopefully they'll realize that they just have to let you make your own decisions now.
ReplyDeleteI am dealing with some boyfriend and parental issues somewhat (kinda) similar to you. I think it is what parents do, a lot of the time. They worry, and they do so love to point out how much they worry.
ReplyDeleteIf you keep your good head on your shoulders, I think you'll be okay. And if you don't, you'll make some mistakes and learn from it, because that's what life is. If you didn't make mistakes, you would never grow. So, while this is really a frustrating experience (trust me, I know) you're also learning from this bump in the road too. Hang in there. I'm rooting for you!
Your parents sounds kind of like mine.
ReplyDelete"Break up with Theresa before she breaks up with you. She's a doctor you know, she'll probably leave you for better so break up with her now so it's easier for you.
Seriously though, she's probably going to break up with you because you love sleeping in so much."
Thanks Mom and Dad.
Age between people mostly becomes irrelevant after high school, trust me. Maybe 'irrelevant' is too strong a word, but it certainly stops meaning so much outside of school.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I hear you on the fact that your parents are very vocal about their opinions on your relationship. They're only saying what they think is right, and they care about you (which I know you already know), but it is still annoying when parents continue to treat us like children, even though we're approaching adulthood.
You're the oldest sibling, yeah? It's a first for your parents, so they've got to learn to let go and trust you. I'm expecting it's not the easiest thing in the world for them, either.
They SHOULD trust you though - you've got a good head on your shoulders. They'll see that in time.