I am really hard on myself. Really hard.
If I screw up knowingly, it's devastating. Stupid, little mistakes are the worst because I know that they could have been prevented if I was just more thorough and aware.
Right now I'm beating myself up for screwing up homemade cornbread, and it's bad. Constant self doubt, self criticism, internal berating.
What's silly is that no one is angry at me. But I can't help but feel angry at myself. I wasn't fully focused on what I was doing, and I accidentally added the batter into the oil instead of vice versa. Ughhhhhh.
What am I going to do when I get to BMT? Every action is going to be scrutinized under a magnifying glass. If I'm like this when I screw up little things at home, how am I going to be when I get down there?
I just need to remember to take deep breaths. Don't get upset, just fix whatever's wrong. It doesn't do any good to get angry at myself.
Constant focus. That's what I need to put all my energy toward.
In my experience with any sort of military training, I've seen that those who scrutinize themselves the hardest, are the ones that show that they belong. They are the ones that turn out the best compared to those alongside them.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel, I do it all the time. It's not worth getting stressed out over little things and if you keep berating yourself you'll never fix it, or improve. Usually the small problems are the ones that can be fixed, even if it is next time. So just remember what you've told yourself here and go for it.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. Well because I used to be kind of like that. A personal mantra that I've developed since is that mistakes are fine, PROVIDED that you learned from it. Seriously, the only time I get mad at myself for mistakes is when I haven't learned.
ReplyDeleteI hope that helps? Also, I'm certain that one of our mutual followers has friended you on Facebook. I'm still kind of avoiding the old Facebook account for now. If you want a letter from me, get one of them to email me your address!