1. I'm not awesome.
reason: Growing up I always felt inadequate. I honestly believed that everyone was better than me, so I pushed myself to be up to "their level." Obviously I still harbor traces of that mind-set, and while I am trying to overcome it, occasionally the rich 'my parents buy me anything' crowd gets to me. I am awesome because I work hard. I am awesome because I'm an honest friend. I'm awesome because someday all of this will be useful to me.
2. You can suck my big black dick.
reason: Honestly, this is what I say when I'm offended, frustrated, or mad at someone. I really need to stop saying this because, well, I don't want people to think I have a big black dick. Also, I realize that the phrase is vulgar and crude, and somewhat racist/sexist, but whateves. Mainly I don't want people to think that I have male bits.
3. "No" when I mean yes.
reason: I confuse other people when they ask me if I can pass them a piece of paper and reply "No," only to hand them a sheet a few seconds later. "Can you open that door for me please?" NO. *opens door* "Would you mind taking notes for me in class when I'm absent?" NO. *takes notes* So yeah. I know that's really douchey.
4. Well actually....
reason: Because correcting people annoys them. Especially when you start off with something that sounds as pretentious as that. I need to learn to be patient and tolerant of others, especially when it comes to things like that. Being a no-it-all is no bueno.
And that about sums it up. I'm going to try to be better at not saying these things, because I really want to make a good impression on everyone.
Ah but if you don't correct someone they never learn.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I obviously need to start hanging out with you more because I have never heard you say any of these things and I'm very ashamed of it.
ReplyDelete@Aria Let's hang out together then! We can work out... or you can work out while I'm passed out on the ground.
ReplyDeleteI tell people to SMD more often than I'd like to admit. I also frequently correct people who say, "I have a temperature," rather than, "I have a fever." Of course you have a temperature. Everything has a temperature. Idiots.
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, I apologize if you say "temperature." You're not an idiot.
Another reason you should probably stop saying "you can suck my big black dick" is because you're clearly not black and some people might actually think you have a penis and take you up on your offer and then be sorely disappointed when they realize you're not actually a hermaphrodite.
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE SO AWESOME. And I cannot even imagine you saying "you can suck my big black dick," but I love you for it. Also, sometimes people need to be corrected, so don't snuff that one out completely.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever heard you say "you can suck my big black dick" I think I would die. Just die.
ReplyDeleteI cannot picture you saying #2, but I do not doubt you. This is awesome. It just made my day. I want ot fly to the Americas right now just to hear you say it to some douche.
ReplyDelete#2 is too hilarious to stop saying!
ReplyDeleteWhoa, #2 is one that I never imagined you saying. ._.
ReplyDeleteMyself, I need to stop dropping memes and obscure internet references in everyday conversation.