Today I was talking to my friend Sayra about college and whatnot, and the reality of who we're actually going to stay in touch with.
She's going to Louisiana State University, and of course, I'm going to High Point.
We both have a mutual friend who moved to Dallas who has pretty much turned into a slut since moving up there, and has gotten really good at using people.
Said friend is always asking me for life advice, and then disregards everything. Often I find my self riddled with worry because of how careless she is (recently she went "missing", but it turns out she was just out partying and her phone was turned off the entire night), but then I came to a startling realization: when I'm in North Carolina, I'm not going to care anymore. Maybe I will for a week or so, but once I start classes and meet new people---- people like her will rank very low on my list of priorities.
As bad as it may be, Sayra and I are also looking forward to drifting away from people. I've had my fair share of douchebag friends as of late, as well as people that have been highly inconsiderate, but since I'm not big into burning bridges I think I may just let things dissolve into a Facebook friendship. Birthdays. Christmas. Maybe a few status likes here and there, but that's it.
And I'm excited about shedding all these people that I've been slowly growing sick of. I'm tired of people asking for my opinion and then doing the exact opposite. It'd be one thing if they had only known me for a few weeks, but when you do that someone you've known for 5+ years? Yeah. It's a slap in the face. A huge one.
If you're not even going to consider what I have to say, why even bother asking in the first place?
But I digress. Sayra told me that she plans on doing that TBH thing on Facebook and just let everyone know what she ACTUALLY thinks of them, and honestly I'm contemplating doing the same thing. Will it piss people off? Perhaps. But I also think that people should be enlightened and know that they've pretty much had their head in up their ass for the past 7 months.
What's sad is the fact that I didn't realize that some of my friends were shitty until my stepmom pointed it out to me. See? I want to see the best in people, however I apparently make myself feel horrible in the process. Also, I'm tired of hearing my stepmom say, "Again? Really?"
So you know what? I'm ready to shed the people who no longer have time for me. I'm a damn good friend who will rearrange their schedule just to accommodate others. I'm tired of making them feel better. For once, I'd like to say, "No, actually it's not ok. I actually went through crap in order to have time for you." And I'm getting to that point now.
So yes. The fear of going to college has been eliminated by my need to get out of Texas. Take me away now. Please.
Dude. I cannot WAIT to never have to see 90% of these people ever again (except when I come home to visit and happen to see them walking down the street or during 10 year high school reunions when I get to go and make fun of everyone.) There are probably about 3 people that I am really going to make an effort to keep in contact with as much as possible, and a handful of others that I will make an attempt to remain friendly with, but other than that... nope. YAY COLLEGE.
ReplyDeleteWell at least you have something to help you get over your fears. I keep in touch with just one person from my school days, and it wasn't totally nice learning what they really thought of me to be honest. I wish I could say I didn't care what they think, for the most part I don't, but words still hurt. I think that if you want to retain the fact that you are better than them, and you probably are, then you won't sink to that level.
ReplyDeleteI'm only a junior, but I've had senioritis since like, middle school. I totally understand your need to just leave and start over somewhere
ReplyDeletenew and not boring!
TBH sounds like a good idea. I've done a few of them, and it makes you really evaluate your relationship with each person who wants a post.
Sometimes, with friends, the good stuff doesn't outweigh all the shit that they put you through. Cut the deadweight, girl :)
I'm really looking forward to burning bridges with these two girls that have made this past year especially a living nightmare. I mean, I unsubscribed from one whose statuses were stupid and who treated me like crap at school. One of the fakest people I know to the point where I don't know what's real with her anymore. Good thing she and I were never friends, only mutually involved in so many school clubs and nonsense.
ReplyDeleteAlso, she keeps bragging about getting into UNC Chapel Hill like it's so much different than FSU, UF, or any other Florida state school. Can you tell she irks me?
At any rate, I think you are justified in what you are doing, I just may wait closer until graduation to announce it to the world via Facebook. But it's your call.
BEDA 2012 <3
Awww well I'm sorry you feel that way :/ There aren't many people I want to 'burn bridges' with and I hope I'll never feel that way :/
ReplyDelete