Of many different things.

So today I had a dentist appointment at 8am (I know, what an unholy summer hour) for a regular check up and cleaning. My mom picked me up from home, drove me there, and while filling out the dental/medical sheet, we messed up twice and had to get new forms.

Yeah. What can I say, it was at an unholy hour. Then after we finished filling out that horrible sheet I went in for my cleaning and check up. Good news, I have zero cavities. Bad news, I went out with more pain than I came in with. What is it with dentists and pain?

Anyways while looking for random philosophy stuff, I stumbled across this odd, yet slightly refreshing website called the Interactive Social Contract. The web address is http://vototron.com/On this website you can create Laws, Bylaws, oppose whatever ideas you disagree with, and support those you do. The navigation takes some getting used to, but overall personally I think it's an enjoyable website! Check it out!

Revelations and Plans

SURPRISE. My parents just told me that I'm leaving on Wednesday to go to Oklahoma. My family owns a little house up by a lake, and I was told earlier before school let out that I wasn't going to be able to go, but surprise surprise my parents changed their mind again!
I'm not disappointed, oh no, I'm ecstatic. Maybe now I'll be able to get some moccasins to match my coon skin Davey Crockett hat. It's kind of funny when I go up to Oklahoma because everyone thinks I'm an American Indian, but they are sadly mistaken. I'm 50% Filipino and Whitey, and the only way I'm connected to Native Americans is through marriage. I'm more Jewish than I am Indian. No lie.

Along with finding out that I'm leaving for Oklahoma soon, I discovered that my dad, Mr. Business Entrepreneur was in Leadership of Longview with non other than the father of the boy that made public school hell for me. Luke Durden's dad is friends with my dad. It's the end of the world. Ok, so I'm being over dramatic. I'm entitled to be freaked out, especially since it was Luke who accused me (at a symphony no less!) of being adopted. Also, I might add, Luke is secretly my intellectual rival. Secretly.

So other than the trips I have coming up, I plan on making some super rad digital, and real life art.

I plan on making a LARGE army man, gun and all. Also, I've already made Bekka Birthday gift numero dos. It's super cute.

I plan on making the most of summer, even if I am partially shut off from friends.

Not a Smudge.

When I start to feel insignificant, like a tiny little smudge on the window of humanity, I just remember all the times the universe has been kind to me.

Like that one time at a Debate Tourney I placed higher than Philip Hayes, my ivy league bound arch nemesis. Psha, I could so totally win that $250,000 scholarship if I wanted to. Darn him for having a video camera.

Or that one time I found money on the ground, and used it to buy a super awesome T-Shirt.

Or all the times I got "21" while playing BlackJack. Seriously, it happens quite often.

Or whenever I do something, and it benefits not only me, but other people, and then a plethora of good things happen to me.

So when I feel like a tiny smudge, I just think of all the nice things that have happened to me, and all of the small, but great things I've been lucky enough to do, then I don't feel so small.

Summer Doodles

Some mindless summer doodles, all done in under a minute. I like drawlin in inks!

Haiku

Oh Micheal Jackson
Always glittering, now dead
Prince Pop forever.

Life, put on halt

I don't mind being at my Grandma's house, no really, I love spending time with her, but I hate it when my parents aren't clear with their decisions.

First they tell me that I'm going to miss volunteer days Wednesday and Friday, then yesterday I find out that I'll be going to work Friday, then today I find out that I'm not working.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND. They always tell me that I take to long to make up my mind, but the only reason I take so long is so I won't have to change my mind 5 times.

I like my plans to be concrete. Oh the hypocrisy of it all.

Apparently I've been "sulking". Really? Because it looks like I'm watching the baby, who isn't mine, but sure feels like it.

My mom throws a fit about how I'm watching my Step mom's baby a lot, but it's complicated. It's like, if I want to go and hang out with my friends who are about to leave for college instead of watching my baby brother, I automatically hate my baby brother.

It's not like that. I see the baby every day. I get puked on almost every day, is it too much to ask to want to spend time with my friends before they move 10+ hours away from me? This summer has not been what I wanted. Where did all my friends go? I don't know seeing as how I haven't seen most of them since school let out. Thanks parents.

I have a feeling that it's going to get even worse as the summer progresses.

When I need them, they are not there

Today I had my library shift from 2pm-5pm and it was ok. Since the carts and having to shelve books has been slow I mainly shelf read, which just means that I painstakingly checked every single book to see if it was in the right order.

I worked with two of the new volunteers who were quick learners. However one of the previous new volunteers had shelved all of the biographies with the young adult fiction which is a big no-no, and also a major pain in the pancreas.

So me being the good responsible veteran of three years, I just shrugged it off and went to go search for more misplaced biography books. As I was walking to start in the A's I heard a voice. At first I thought I was having a Bella from New Moon moment.

Am I hearing voices? Has the hot Texas sun finally fried my brain? Maybe all those episodes of House turned my brain into goo!

No. I was not hallucinating, going crazy, or developing pre adulthood schizophrenia.

In between the biography isle and the start of the fiction section was non other than the strait man/boy from my nightmares, the man/boy who ruined bits of my first year of high school, the one and only, carrot topped, college bound, Jacob Root.

He and a friend were blocking the already cramped walkway, so, still in shock I muttered an "excuse me" and shuffled past them, shelved books, checked to see if they were in the right order, then I muttered another "excuse me" as I squeezed past them.

As I was checking the books, my mind running frantic, rationalized that I should just pretend that I didn't recognize him (which is ridiculous because no one can forget about someone they know in less than a month).

So there it is. My first meeting with Jacob Root during the summer went well. No douchebaggery exchanged, no sharp words, no involuntary hugging. It was nice.

He didn't even say hi. But then again, neither did I, so it's all good.

After I left them, and after they left the library I wanted to find someone, anyone so I could scream in their faces "I JUST SAW THE PERSON WHO RUINED MY FRESHMAN YEAR, AND I PRETENDED I DID'T RECOGNIZE HIM."

However no one who would have cared was there. Bekka where were you in my time of need?! 'So kay. I know you have a perfectly logical and responsible reason why. If you don't, please make one up. Really.

I didn't tell my family, because they would have made a big deal about it. They seem to have deduced falsely that Jacob and I used to, and could possible still be, going out. WRONG. I would go out with Metcalf before I would date Jacob.

Without this blog I would probably go crazy. It's a good thing I'm going to Palestine to escape any further run ins with people I don't want to see. Then after Palestine, I go into the great unknown back end of east Texas that is teeming with cows and horses. Swimming pool, and better tan: Here I come!

Summer Playlist.

The first song, was the mysterious song Jacob was always playing in Debate. I always liked it, but I could never figure out what it was.

The other songs are just a few of my current favourites :)

Do you guys have any favourite songs for summer?

Father's Day

When I talk about my dad on here, or to my friends it's usually about the present or future, never the past.

Sometimes I edit stories, leave out bits, making my dad seem larger than life.

Everyone wants to hold back when it comes to flaws, but sometimes, all you can see is the good things.

My dad has come a long way. He is a great, hardworking man, and even though I don't like to admit it, I do take after him in some aspects.

If you have a father, tell him hi today.

I'm Back

So it's true, I've been back for a few days, but due to fatigue, life, chores, unpacking, and volunteering. I wanted to get all the gushing about my trip over with as soon as possible to get it out of the way. If you ever have the chance, I would highly recommend going to San Antonio one day. It's such a nice and pretty colorful city with a lot of historical background.
One of the first things we saw was the Alamo, aka, Texas' claim to fame. Our most boasted about battle, and a major part of the State's history. While we were there we got a little treat, and got to see our Governor Rick Perry, who if you remember way back, took over the Governor position from Bush after he became president. I wonder what happened to his arm. Maybe he got into a bar fight with a donkey.
You know those theme parks scattered across the US called Six Flags? Yeah. It's an Alamo, and furthermore a Texas reference. The flags represent all of the countries that played a major part in the battle. The Spainish, German, and a few other European countries had men fighting in the Alamo.
Another stop on our trip was to a place called Buckhorn, which had 3 museums and a restaurant inside. They also had this little cowboy man walking around who resembled Jake Gyllenhaal (did I spell that right?) from Brokeback Mountain. No lie, hat, chaps, boots, and lasso. He was cowboyed out. Another cool fact: Billy Bob Thorton gave Buckhorn the "you don't suck as much as the restaurant down the street whose waitress wouldn't let me cop a feel" thumbs up of approval.
If you haven't guessed by now, one of Buckhorn's museums is a Taxadermy travel throughout the continents including North America, Africa, and Asia. They also have a Texas Ranger museum (which sadly had ZERO Chuck Norris references) and a Texas history wax museum.
Another highlight of the trip was the Riverwalk. We took the boat tour, and saw so much beautiful scenery, and even encountered a few surprises. Baby Steven, although coated in sweat, enjoyed the ride, and told us so by shrieking very loudly.

For example, there was a choir preforming as our boat passed.
Every turn, there was awe, and beauty in not only architecture, but plant life.


Next stop! The San Antonio Zoo! Hey Bekka, remember that story we read in APLit, the Scarlet Ibis? Yeah, we had a bunch of those suckers looming over our heads at the zoo.The Hippos were pretty cool, and were most definitely not people shy.I don't know if you can tell from this somewhat abstract picture, but the Hippo just took a crap in the water around all those fishes.

Over all, the zoo was awesome. We saw jellyfish, big cats, tiny cats, lots of snakes and komodo dragons, and we even rode the little train that they had around the park and surrounding area.
We also visited the Tower of the Americas, which is just slightly smaller than the space needle, and we ate on the River, and had spanish minstrels play at our table :) However, I'm tired, lazy, etc. so I'm going to stop with the pictures, and the typing.

I'm going to blow your mind

For those that know me personally, or have been reading this blog long enough, you probably know how much of a philosophy nerd I am. And being the self proclaimed nerd, I am prone to thinking about the weirdest things anyone could ever imagine.

However, I'd like some input on Consequentialism, more commonly known in the phrase "The ends justify the means," verses that of Deontology, where every action must be morally right.

When using the phrase, "The ends justify the means," a good end for example would be a world without AIDs or HIV; however, is the end still considered right or good if the means to reach that end were to quarantine and shut off those infected from the world?

In Deontology, every single action you are involved in must be morally right, so in a hypothetical situation, if a scared girl running from a maniacle psychopath with a knife comes running to you for proctection, you have to hide her for protection, but if the psychopath comes to you and asks you if you know where the girl is, you can't lie. You have to tell the truth because lying is considered morally wrong. The girl ends up not being saved, however the rules of Deontology state that you have done nothing wrong.

For either side, there are many radical hypothetical situations you can fit in to show all the flaws of each theory, however is one more right than the other?

Is it better to have a good ending or outcome, even if the ways you have to reach that good is bad? Or is it better to treat each action as an end, where everything you do has to be morally right? What if your version of right is my version of wrong?

Just something for your brain to munch on for a while during the time I'm gone for my trip :)

Edison Kierkegaard

Due to my vacationing, posts have been pretty sparse, I know, but here are a few updates!

I now have a build-a-bear. His name is Edison Kierkegaard, which of course is in honor of two really awesome guys: Thomas Edison, and Soren Kierkegaard. We bought him at the boardwalk in Louisiana, and I plan to go back in order to get some bear clothes for him. The only thing that I don't like about build-a-bear is the fact that almost every person there comes up to my waist. Ah, the disadvantages of being a teenager.

My back is sore from swimming a lot.

And ironically, I'm coming back to work at the library Friday, again. My vacations never seem to escape ALL of my volunteering.

Anyways, I'm off to San Antonio. Have fun everyone!

Coupon Snobs

Why are so many people coupon snobs? I cannot count how many times I've been at Micheals, or Hobby Lobby, or even a book store, pulled out a coupon only to see a look of horror with a pinch of disgust on the face of people my own age.

What's so wrong about getting 40% off on a $45 set of inks? I just saved money, and now I can go buy that t-shirt I've been eying at Hot Topic!

It's like, just because you use a coupon it means that you're broke. Whenever I ask people why they don't like coupons, they usually respond with a "It's not cool!" or "It's embarrassing!"

There's nothing embarrassing about saving money, because if you save money, you can buy more stuff. Using a coupon is no different than participating in a current sale, in fact the only thing different is the paper exchange; you still get discounted, you just don't have to hand over a piece of paper.

It's sad that kids my own age don't practice money saving techniques. And it's also worrying, because one day they won't have their parent's money to fall back on, and they're going to have to learn to save money the hard way.

Volunteer Veteran

Volunteering for the Art Club Val-o-Grams.

My hand... it's broken. Well, not really, because if it was I wouldn't be typing. But it is a bit sore from having to do 44 caricatures non-stop of little kids ranging from the ages 6 months - 12 years old. And here's the kicker: I did it all for free.

My usual working rate is $5 dollars a picture, and well, if I had charged that as a flat rate I would have made $220 dollars.... but since I'm a volunteer, I do it for free.

Oh the joy that fills my heart. I could have used that money though.

The librarian in charge of the Teen Leaders program talked to my stepmom today, and was like, "You know Lizzi has been with me for three years right?"

And she went on to express her fears of me leaving the program next year and getting a job. Most likely I will get job, and I guess now I'm going to be a volunteer for the rest of my high school career. Why? Because my parents want me to. I see their point. It'll look really good on my transcript if I have six years of volunteer work.

Its just, I feel like I won't have any free time if I'm spread between jobs, volunteering, and vacationing. When will I have time to read and make art? Both of those are essential to my being.

Oh well. I'll figure it out. Later today I'm leaving to go to Shreveport Louisiana, to hang out at the boardwalk and stay at one of the Casino Hotels down there for a few days, then I'll come back Friday for my volunteering at the library, and then I'll leave again after that to go to San Antonio and Austin in Texas.

Hopefully I'll be able to post between now and then! Anyways, I hope everyone has a nice summer, and I wish everyone safe travels!

Paranoid, Privacy

I have worries about my blog. I feel paranoid that one day, the wrong person is going to read it, interpret it wrong, and get me in trouble.

And usually I would listen to my common sense and switch this blog to private, but I can't. Because it would then be exactly like a diary, and then I would stop posting because I don't like diaries. I know, I'm a bit contradictory.

A long time ago, before I ever knew what blogger was, I was writing and sharing my thoughts on Xanga (oh the horror), and Myspace, and I found that I wasn't satisfied. I needed something that fit my needs even more. Something that's first priority was writing, or blogging. It's a wonder that I didn't stumble upon Livejournal first, but I'm glad I didn't.

Every time I've said something less than nice about people that didn't know I had a blog, I've used discretion, and in hindsight the choices I made back then weren't bad.

With the media attacking bloggers right now, and people also outing bloggers I feel even more paranoid than I was in the first place. But whatever. I've come to the conclusion that nothing in my blog can harm me.

I feel sorry for those who have been outed, and have been forced to go private, or stop blogging. The people who were malicious enough to do that have no life.

Dear Lee Pace,

Your acting makes me giggle. And you have a great smile.

I like to photoshop pictures of you in fun colors because you're so awesome. I only photoshop pictures of things I think are awesome.... like cats.

But you're not a cat. Oh no. You're softspoken, dramatic, and rumbly, all rolled up in a burrito of awesome man.

You can bake me pies any day.

Update

Vacation time is approaching! Wednesday, after I work at the Library kick off party I'm off to Shreveport to explore the boardwalk and swim in casino pools.

Those pools are quite large.

Then, after that on the 16th-18th I'll be in the San Antonio/ Austin area doing different stuff. I'm hoping we can stop by the Alamo, and the State Capitol building. Hopefully I'll be able to take some pictures and post them.

As for plans with friends, I don't know. I'll have to get to planning those.

Nubbin

This is Celery with short hair!! It took him forever to actually get a picture up. I don't really like it, but whatever!

Yesterday I finished Charmed Thirds, so Bekka, when we work Wednesday I'll give it to you. Btw, when do we go to work (time)?

Also, I went fishing, and now my house smells like fish. I don't like fish.

I need a bath.

It's a Saturday

Oh. Writing has not been easy. I barely have a page worth of ideas, but I'm not giving up! I'm still deciding on if I want a serious philosophical book, or a comedy. I'm stuck. As good as I am at coming up with witty sayings with little inklings of insight, I'm probably going to go with the serious writing. I can always do comedy later.

Also, I went to see Land of the Lost today. There was a lot of sexual innuendo. A lot. It was funny in some parts, and stupid in all parts, but I had already predicted this.

Another thing I've been working on is Bekka's birthday present. I started on a series of little paintings, but gave up after no initial inspiration. So now I'm working on a different present that involves sewing, cutting, pasting, and possibly electrical tape if I can find it. Oh and super glue, lots of super glue.

The picture in this post is here via Josh Alex...blah blah blah I don't want his name to show up in a google search's Facebook profile. It makes me laugh buckets because it is so true to the core of his being.

Purge an Individual

I need to start writing, I need to start doing something that doesn't involve pining over someone I won't see until most likely fall. Even then we probably won't talk. As much as I try, reading and art do not smother out the image of the older individual who seems to have commandeered my brain. Not even the tube can help me now.

My only hope is to be so engrossed in my writing and plot development that I will never ever think, regret, or notice this individual ever again.

I'm even contemplating deleting them from my Facebook to get them off my mind. In fact, I might do so. This purge will be good for me. Also, this will be the second time I will have deleted them off. I hope this will make commentary, and overall life in my brain easier living.

How is it someone you haven't seen in weeks can cause so much grief? As much as I've tried denying feelings for said individual, there's always going to be something, even if it's an unpleasant, uneasy feeling.

So every now and then, possibly even day to day I'll give a progress report about my writing in order to keep my mind off of... well you know.

More Meow

I'm having the time of my life in the inside of my house, watching House, reading varied books, attempting to make more art, and last but not least, drowning in a pool of lethargy.

My parents (being my stepmom mainly) are complaining that I am hibernating in my room, when really I'm just painting or watching a movie. So I can't do either now, unless there is someone in there with me that I can point at and say "HEY I'M NOT IN HERE BY MYSELF"

Also, lots of house drama mixed in. My parents just have a small amount of houses to choose from in my school district, which makes it hard for them to find a 4-5 bedroom house. Also, a lot of houses are overpriced. Who ever said this was a buyers market was only telling part of the truth.

Rents

So my parents are fed up with the landlord we have, who is more like a landdouche. We planned on buying a house sometime around December or January this year, but we're having to find one earlier.

The thing that sucks though is the thought of having to move and pack THREE times this late in the year.

A piece of advice, if you ever decide to rent a house temporarily make sure you have a responsible landlord.

Murphy Mondays

I woke up early to take out the trash for Grandma, and I couldn't go back to sleep. I have the feeling that today, anything that can go wrong will. But I will stay optimistic, and wear my dad's old flannel shirt that I have dubbed as lucky. I enjoy cats.

Oh yes, and for those who enjoy old philosophers who like to make me laugh:

...Peikoff recommended voting only for Democrats, to forestall what he sees is a rise in influence of the religious right, adding:
Given the choice between a rotten, enfeebled, despairing killer [Democrats], and a rotten, ever stronger, and ambitious killer [Republicans], it is immoral to vote for the latter, and equally immoral to refrain from voting at all because "both are bad." In 2008, Peikoff refused to vote for either major party's ticket, saying that John McCain "comes across like a tired moron," calling Barack Obama a "lying phony" and Joseph Biden "a hilarious windbag," while saying of Sarah Palin that she is "an opportunist struggling to learn how to become a moron, a phony and a windbag."