Faults

Although contrary to most belief, I don't need someone to tell me my flaws, or faults. Everyone has them, and as this one girl once told me, it's ok if you recognize that you have these inadequacies, because once you realize that you have them, the sooner you can move on and maybe improve.

I know I'm not going to win the best friend of the year award, I know I eat like a man, I know I'm blunt, harsh, to the point, and pragmatic to the point of being an android, however It's ok.

I'm ok that I'm not perfect. And I wish some people would be ok with not being perfect also.

I'm not 4.0 gpa material, however I bet I could make you question your belief system.

I hate people that torture themselves because they possess faults that are beyond their control. You can't abruptly change your character, your personality overnight. It takes time.

Why can't you just be proud?

So the conversation started nice, light, and in the attempt of trying to make someone important to me proud, I end up feeling inadequate because 1) I didn't place first, and 2) I will never be able to fulfill the high standards of Jacob Root.

Me: you should be proud. I placed second, and I made JGraves upset.

Jacob: who did you hit?
and who was there?

These two questions have to be answered before any pride swells.

and how did you piss him off.

Me: (names, school names, boring stuff that you guys wouldn't care about)....

Me(again): Also, I had one of the most unique cases going up there because pretty much everyone was using Safety or Security/Social Contract... With the exception to Marley and Avery. No one knew how to correctly refute my v/c*(debate jargon for value/criterion).

Apparently JGraves got embarrassed in front of the other coaches and blamed it on me, then got upset because my parents had to pick me up before the awards ceremony, so he threw a big fit and made everyone leave without getting my trophy.

Jacob: I find it hard to believe that that is the correct order of competition. <-(he's talking about the boring kids and schools I listed)

And, I still need to see this miraculous V/C. That I don't think are actually a v/c. So, sooner or later some one else is going to figure it out.

Me: You'd be surprised. Apparently a lot of the freshmen/sophomores from those schools went to some form of debate camp. Whitehouse has a few good kids that transferred in, Beth went to something and studied under the Cook brothers. Also I haven't had the chance to run up against the obvious competition Racy has built, but I have a feeling that they'll be my main competition. They got a new asst. coach from Mahaya who is supposedly good. I'm hoping to run up against Haley Wheat at the next tournament to see if she's really all that good as everyone says she is.

Also, I already showed you my v/c pair. For both my cases. Well, except my philosophical case. But I've only used that once. I've been helping pretty much everyone else so I haven't had much time to perfect my case, but it works for now.

And just for clarification Jacob, my v/c pairs are by no means miraculous, they just work. And the judges like my voice.

Jacob: Lizzi,
You're a sophomore. You need to stop concerning yourself with the other cases in the classroom, and sit down and work on your own. You are your own priority. So, take a step back understand what I'm saying when I say I don't think they even are a v/c. That means that if your v/c is something along the lines of common sense and some other b.s. in no way could those ever be value or criterion. Sooner or later someone will figure it out, and if not you shouldn't be ok with it. You should be upset that you are performing for judges who just want to hear you speak well. All that means is that all the work you do is in vain. Don't talk to your coach or about your coach at a tournament, ignore them. Your priority is to concentrate on your rounds. Pre-flow, scout, time constructives, rebuttal redos to a wall. These are things you should be doing. After a tournament or in the classroom scream back in forth at your coach it doesn't matter then.

Me: Ok, to be clear, Common sense is no where near a value in my case. I just like to yell that at people when I'm upset. I didn't think YOU of all people or anyone for that matter would take me seriously when I posted that random phrase on here, it was an in class joke. AGAIN I would never put that in MY cases. Also, believe it or not, I have been doing speaking drills, preflowing, etc. Other than those two times JGraves confronted me, I was pretty much focused on winning each and every one of my rounds, which, I did. I just need to work on getting perfect speaks.

And how am I supposed to watch and let Miranda, pretty much my oldest and most loyal companion in debate struggle and flounder around trying to figure a case out. If she needs help, and if I can, for some reason that is beyond me, give her decent help, then I will. I see no point in not caring for the rest of the team. Sure, if I would have spent more time on my case instead of trying to help everyone else I probably could have placed higher, but then that would leave Miranda mad at me for acting "selfish" and Colby with the unfortunate short end of the stick.

I feel confident in the current v/c that I have, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop working and progressing towards a better case then what I have now. And to be honest, no matter what v/c I have, I'm pretty sure you'll find something wrong with them no matter what, however until I start losing with the cases I write, I'm not going to worry about it, because I know I can defend my v/c adequately in a round. I'm doing the best I can, I'm pretty much working this whole thing out on my own, and so far, I haven't failed myself.

Jacob: Well, I love that you have a sense of duty. Immanuel Kant's genius saw the distinct connection between duty and morality. However, your concerns with helping are the result of not helping. It should be that you are truly inspired by your duty to your fellow teammates that you help them.

Secondly, I wouldn't have something bad to say about a every v/c. I went against cases all the time that had perfect v/c's... I argued against them, but I saw them as just fine for a case.

Thirdly, Wisdom does not come from age. It comes from the life lived. You should have learned that from the true cutlass.... Read More

Fourthly, I really would like to see a philosophical case if it is written. Not for any reason other than the enjoyment of good philosophy really, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't critique it.

Fifthly, I love you.

All of you guys. Big party over winter break. It's going down.

"the treatment" doesn't work on me.

It feels good to be back in the game, hanging with people, dominating, and just overall being in my element.

Saturday was my first Debate tourney of the season, and I have to say I think it went pretty well. My first opponent was cool Travis, a friend of mine from Atlanta HS. It was funny because the first time I debated him he beat me, but this time around I won. So now we're even I guess. I spent most of the tournament hanging out with him and Marley, walking around a lot, and discussing random crackpot theories.


I don't know how well I did because my parents had to pick me up early, much to my new coach's displeasure. Oh well. Apparently he's super pissed at me now, and I'm sorry, but based off of a priori knowledge from previous competitions most teachers let parents pick their kids up. He never told us his rules, he never tells us much of anything to be honest. When in comes to competition I feel left in the dark, and if any one KNOWS me they know that stuff like that doesn't fly with me.

I like KNOWING. If I don't know what's going on, I'm going to assume things that shouldn't be assumed. Also, what kind of grown man tries to emulate LBJ by using "the treatment" on a teenage girl. Yeah, real manly. I hope his ego has grown, because getting in my face and scolding me out in public really intimidates me /end sarcasm. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt after our first tiff, but he in all honestly isn't being much of a coach. And just so it's clear, I'm not backing down.

I'm going to be stubborn, and as much as I wanted to respect him, and try to move past our personality clashes, this last event where he blew up at me for something so little as wanting to have my parents pick me up at the end of the tourney is THE END of my part in trying to respect him. I will be cordial, but I will not be muted. If he blows up at me like this ever again, I'm going to drop the debate class and compete on my own.

Dealing with him is not worth it. And what's sad is the fact that it's just not me who's fed up with him. He gets so mad and loses his temper over the tiniest things. Maybe he's on hormone pills, or something. He didn't even acknowledge the fact that my parents were going out of town and that if I would have ridden with everyone else back to our school I wouldn't have a ride home, and even if I did my house would be empty. My parents had to pick me up because we had to go somewhere, and it was the only solution that would work.

However he still felt the need to scold, and even partially yell. Well, whatever. If he wants me off the team, then guess what? Most of the varsity will probably leave with me. If he screws me over, then I'll repeat that tenfold.

You don't mess with a hormonal teenage girl.