I feel like I should place a warning on here just in case any dudes stumble upon this... Er, You have been warned? I don't know....
Dressing myself has never really been an issue. There have been only a few instances at school that I have been told that my clothing was a little inappropriate, but the person who always got on to me was a total tight wad, and picked on everyone.
My parents voice their opinion every now and then, especially my mother who is constantly nagging me about the stupidest stuff, like my shirts being cut too low, or that I shouldn't wear tank tops in front of guys.... WTH? She's pretty conservative. And that's putting it mildly.
My dad doesn't act like he cares. Then again, I don't ever come out of the house wearing mini skirts, so I guess he's content with the way I dress.
My stepmom on the other hand is always sending mixed signals. Like in middle school:
"Why are you always wearing baggy shirts and pants? You're a girl, wear something that fits you! You have boobs, stop trying to hide them!"
Honestly, I didn't care about boobs back then. All I cared about was my wrestling t-shirts, and they didn't come in form fitting sizes. Neither did my camouflage pants. It was either baggy, or super baggy. Not much choice in that department. And now that I do wear "form fitting clothes" she says:
"I want you to get larger sized shirts. You're too old to be wearing all these skin tight shirts, and your boobs are too big for those shirts anyways."
Oy. My life. My stepmom has also convinced herself that I am no longer a C cup. We're supposed to go and get fitted sometime in the upcoming future. I'm hoping that she's wrong, and that I am indeed still a C cup. Until then, I'm going to stress about the clothes I need to buy for Debate....
I need a pant suit. But should I go striped? Tweed? Classic black or blue? Ugh. I miss the good ole' days back when I could throw on a Fall Out Boy shirt, some jeans and vans and call it a day.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
One more day
I know sometimes I can be irrational in my way of thinking. I know I give some people too much slack, and others not enough.
My mom happens to be on the end that doesn't get enough slack, but I'm still glad I don't live with her full time. She's embarrassing, blunt, and doesn't understand the way I work and think.
I'm glad I get to leave Monday morning, because I feel some tension in the air which could possibly result in another fight.
Even though my dad and I don't talk about everything, he still respects my boundaries and gives me more freedom than my mom would ever offer me. I hate that my mom is always trash talking my dad and telling me how horrible he is.
He's not anymore. When I was younger my dad used to yell a lot, and loose his temper and break stuff, but ever since he divorced my mom he's been nice. In fact, I haven't heard him yell in three years.
My mom dwells on the past too much. It's a good thing that I only have one more day here. Until then, I'm biting my tongue hard enough to leave teeth marks.
My mom happens to be on the end that doesn't get enough slack, but I'm still glad I don't live with her full time. She's embarrassing, blunt, and doesn't understand the way I work and think.
I'm glad I get to leave Monday morning, because I feel some tension in the air which could possibly result in another fight.
Even though my dad and I don't talk about everything, he still respects my boundaries and gives me more freedom than my mom would ever offer me. I hate that my mom is always trash talking my dad and telling me how horrible he is.
He's not anymore. When I was younger my dad used to yell a lot, and loose his temper and break stuff, but ever since he divorced my mom he's been nice. In fact, I haven't heard him yell in three years.
My mom dwells on the past too much. It's a good thing that I only have one more day here. Until then, I'm biting my tongue hard enough to leave teeth marks.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Already? Didn't take long
It's only about thirty minutes into the time I've been at my mom's house, and we've already gotten into one fight. I'd like to say that things are going to go great, but at this rate I'd say that all hopes of this being a peaceful visit are gone.
Ever since my parent's have gotten a divorce things have been rocky with my mom. We fight, but it's not about normal teenage stuff, but about my dad, or my stepmom, or anything in my life that doesn't include her.
She's always saying that I never visit, I never call, or do anything with her unless my dad makes me, or my stepmom guilt trips me.
Well I wonder why? She doesn't spend time with me when I'm over, we always argue when I'm over, and when she tries to buy my love, she gets me stuff I don't want, and then gets insulted when I don't like it.
I am completely financially dependent on my dad, my mom pays for nothing. Whenever I mention something like, "Yeah, Dad and I were talking, and he might buy me a briefcase for Debate..." or something like that she gets all hurt, and is astonished when I don't invite her to any of my school functions.
Well, I would invite her, but her presence makes my dad angry. My dad pays for everything, ergo my mom is not invited because 1)Most likely we'll fight, and 2)If she really wanted to go to anything I'm in, she'd chip in money wise or something.
I personally think that if a parent is just going to pop up in their child's life and expect to be included in everything they better be contributing more than half a set of DNA. My mom makes me so angry.
She thinks she knows everything about me, but in truth, she can't even buy me a simple birthday gift and know what to get me. Really, I don't see the point of coming over to her house. I always leave bitter, and it does nothing but stress me out.
Ever since my parent's have gotten a divorce things have been rocky with my mom. We fight, but it's not about normal teenage stuff, but about my dad, or my stepmom, or anything in my life that doesn't include her.
She's always saying that I never visit, I never call, or do anything with her unless my dad makes me, or my stepmom guilt trips me.
Well I wonder why? She doesn't spend time with me when I'm over, we always argue when I'm over, and when she tries to buy my love, she gets me stuff I don't want, and then gets insulted when I don't like it.
I am completely financially dependent on my dad, my mom pays for nothing. Whenever I mention something like, "Yeah, Dad and I were talking, and he might buy me a briefcase for Debate..." or something like that she gets all hurt, and is astonished when I don't invite her to any of my school functions.
Well, I would invite her, but her presence makes my dad angry. My dad pays for everything, ergo my mom is not invited because 1)Most likely we'll fight, and 2)If she really wanted to go to anything I'm in, she'd chip in money wise or something.
I personally think that if a parent is just going to pop up in their child's life and expect to be included in everything they better be contributing more than half a set of DNA. My mom makes me so angry.
She thinks she knows everything about me, but in truth, she can't even buy me a simple birthday gift and know what to get me. Really, I don't see the point of coming over to her house. I always leave bitter, and it does nothing but stress me out.
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