Should I be upset? No.

I feel justified.

No, better yet, I feel free of any attachments I ever had to Root.

For the longest time I had been convincing myself that even though he is a major douche at times, he was still the "principled, wickedly intelligent guy that could inflict the carnage of a machine gun with his words."

Principled? Maybe. I found out that he's been "seeing" this freshman at my school, but not dating her due to the fact that he's turning 20 in the fall. I don't know.... I guess he's going to wait for her to grow up? Meanwhile she's apparently not waiting because she's slept with a handful of guys since they've been "seeing" each other. Kudos to him if he hasn't slept with her yet! According to the dictionary principled is defined as: imbued with or having moral principles. The question is, what is his personal definition of morality? Knowing him it would have to do with something involving Kant. Lucky for him Kant never mentioned anything about loose party girls, so I think Root's sense of morality isn't on the fritz.

Wickedly intelligent? Perhaps, but his choice in girls makes me want to question his true intelligence. I wonder if he knows that this girl, who most likely only wants to make him her flavor of the month, is seeing someone else on the side....? In fact, before she goes out to party on the weekends she most likely spends time cuddling with her current boy toy. This week it's a freshman boy in my spanish class. He's sweet. I wonder if he knows that Root is "seeing" her. Root has a plethora of knowledge at his disposal to dispense and share at his whim. That being said, why can't he find a nice, respectable, non-skanky girl to be with?

Now onto his skill in rhetoric. Root could easily sway whatever opinion I have, but now? Knowing that even he is susceptible to skanky party girls just makes me want to laugh. He always walks around with an air of "I'm going somewhere in life, I am greatness unfolding before you," and I laugh now to think that he is the one for once, being played. His words could lead a revolution, but with a not-so pristine reputation of partying and "seeing" skanky underaged girls.... Well you get the picture.

He likes to talk big, act like he's making a difference, when in reality he's just some party boy in between the stages of growing up. He could be a genius, he could be the next great orator, but I doubt he has the follow through and drive for that. I used to put him on a pedestal in my mind, holding myself up to his vague preset standards of where I should be in my life, but that's over now.

The thing that makes me the happiest about this revelation is the fact that I am now justified in my disdain for him. He is no longer someone I wish to emulate or draw inspiration from. I once said that I could listen to him talk for hours and stand inspired and moved to create, but now knowing where that mouth has been? No thank you. I'll find myself another muse skilled in the art of rhetoric and rebellion.

What? Taxes?

Oh Natalie Dee, you draw out my thoughts in more of a creative way than I could ever do.

In my hometown recently some tea-partiers were protesting against an upcoming bond to update and renovate parts of my high school because it would raise property tax.

I can't say much on the matter because of the fact that I'm a minor, and I don't have to pay property taxes, but my school could REALLLLLY use the money.

I wish there was enough money to go around, but the truth is there isn't. Taxes are needed to improve public systems such as roads, libraries, and schools.... It's sad that people are more concerned about money than they are their children's education.

Things about this week

• The Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skill (TAKS) testing week just happens to be going on during Epic April's Star Wars Week on G4, so I'm conflicted internally on whether I should rejoice, or cry at my bad luck. I'm pretty sure I aced my tests though!
• There's this girl in my Spanish 2 class who is CONSTANTLY complimenting me on how I look. For Example: "You're very pretty!" "You look nice today!" "You're outfit looks good on you!" and each time I just say "Er, thanks" awkwardly.
• I have finally admitted out loud how paranoid I am of people hating me. Not that it hurts my feelings, I'm just afraid of someone strangling me (desperate housewives style) because of my personality quirks and constant need to be witty at the expense of others. Irrational fear of death? Probably.
• This guy that I used to have a mondo crush on is going out with someone :/ I came to terms with the fact that I could never go out with him because of Red, a mutual friend would totally cock block me. Even though I have accepted this fact, I still feel crummy inside whenever I see this stupid FB notification reminding me that HEY, this really awesome guy is dating this other girl, and you can't do anything about it.
• It is totally not cool that it is more socially acceptable for guys to be sluts than it is for girls.
• Referring to the bullet above the previous bullet, my friend Andria gave me great advice: Just because they have a goalie(is that how you spell it?) doesn't mean you can't score.
• Also, when trying to convey the significance in height difference between 6'1 and 5'8 my friend Andria said: "That's 5 whole inches!!! That's like.... a really small penis!"

I'm well... trying not to fail at life.

Research papers are the work of the devil.

Or whatever deity you deem evil.

My English teacher, being the awesome person that they are decided to make us write our papers IN CLASS.

She had a check list and literally checked every student's paper before they could take it home to type it up. Of course, I had regional debate competition this weekend so I only had one day this weekend to type, edit, and cite sources. BALLS.

My paper is now finished, and is meticulously being picked at, reformatted, and edited.

Debate wise, I didn't advance to state, but I'm not too upset about it. I still have two more years of competition, and I'm lucky to have made it this far as a second year debater.

I loved my rounds; each one was so informative, and for some reason the guys there were 10x cuter than the guys at invitational competition. I was even hit on, during mid round by some random guy who's first language was probably not english.

I had to keep a straight face whenever he would say things like:

"....protecting the mother nature, and the so on and so forth..."

He also told me that I looked really good in my heels.... Flattery aside, I still won that round.

In other news, I still think I'm the snarky, busy person I was two weeks ago. I forgot to mention that in January I started hanging out with this guy who just happens to be Turkish, and a boxer.

Ok, I'm lying, I didn't forget, I just didn't want to write about him without him knowing that he was being talked about on the internet. You don't do that to awesome people.

Lets see....what else? If you're not friends with me on facebook you're missing out on the pure gold that is my profile picture.
I was eating animal crackers for lunch when I noticed that two of my crackers were fused together.... in the back end love position. Yes, that is a sheep humping a hippo, and even though these creatures aren't naturally found together in nature I can't help thinking that the universe is trying to send me a message: Unite these creatures at whatever cost!

Or perhaps I've been watching too much Dr. Who and Nat. Geo.

All full, done

My mind is blank.

I have exams coming up, regional debate competition this friday and saturday, and my mind is completely and utterly blank.

Sometimes I think my brain has reached max capacity and is done absorbing, but I have to learn more.

Being an ignorant redneck has never seemed so appealing. Just kidding.

But seriously. I've been so engrossed in trying to learn stochiometry in chemistry that I've forgotten all the stuff I need to know for english class.

Summer, where are you?

Oh yeah, completely unrelated, but the new Doctor Who is THE AWESOME OF MY LIFE.

always wear underwear

Because I swear, I'll check and call you out if you're commando.

Just kidding. But seriously, someone should paint some panties on that sculpture.

Yes, that's me. No shame!

My voice!

I know this happens every year around spring time, but I still can't get over losing my voice.

It sucks.

I don't think I appreciate my normal voice on a day to day basis enough. Going an entire day not being able to say what I want is torture!

After only one day I've already developed an inner monologue and a hate for texan accents. ONE DAY!

Just imagine my hate for the world if I lost my voice for an entire week! All conservative republicans: Please stay in your war bunkers. I will go Nuclear.

But I'm being a drama queen. My voice will most likely come back in a day or two once my sinuses clear up. TMI, but I can feel the mucus cleaning out of my nasal and throat passage ways. If you're grossed out, I warned you. TMI.

I just hope my voice is back in time before I have to take my driving test Friday.... Parallel parking is the work of the devil, and I plan on informing my driving instructor of this, preferably in a non raspy "I've been smoking for a billion years" voice.

No direction, being pulled in many ways

As my high school career starts to narrow down I've started to plan for the next steps. Tests I need to take, applications, some last minute transcript fluff.

I've already started coming up with ideas for my AP Art Concentration, and right now I'm pretty dead set on "Do what you like."

This theme is pretty open, but I really hope to focus on the more quirky things. I'm hoping that I can round up some friends to be the subjects in my art. So far I've gotten only one confirmation on a participant :)

I'd love to do pictures of people:
Eating some type of food
Brushing their teeth
Cooking
Reading
Etc.

However, ultimately it's up to the people who volunteer for it. Maybe towards the end of the summer I'll make a big note on facebook and tag people that I'd like to paint or something...

Oh yeah, I also was recruited to be a something something national high school scholar.... Supposedly prestigious, all I know is the kids in my school who got into ivies are members....

Ah, another thing to add to my transcript!

Compilation of things in the form of bullets

• In art I'm working on an oil piece that is supposed to be inspired by Renoir, but it's more of a Mary Cassat meets some random quasi impressionist. Everyone tells me that my piece is sososososoooo very awesome and honestly I think I've found my calling: Absorbing compliments. I like it when people like my art.
  
• If you have not read the book Pygmy by the same guy who wrote Fight Club, YOU SHOULD.
• I'm going to a Lord of The Rings party dresses as a Keebler elf. Yes, I'm bringing cookies.
• I'm seriously considering selling things on Etsy.
• For some odd reason I've been obsesses with Ginger Rogers movies and the Boondock Saints. Despite the fact that they are polar opposites, I'm like a crack junkie who can only get a fix through those movies.
• According to a girl in my maths class there is only 37 days until summer!!!!! Can't wait to go to Vegas!!
  

Censoring sucks

Getting older makes me realize things.

Like for instance, the phrase "Don't burn your bridges because you'll never know how many times you're going to cross them," isn't just for farts and giggles. It's a golden fact of life.

Since realizing this I've been censoring myself more. There are some people who are just meant to be there for the long run, and I can't go around pissing them off or hurting their feelings just because I don't like them.

Today my friend Sayra asked my friends and I in a joking manner, "What can I do to make myself less cute?" because we had been teasing her about how EVERTHING (literally) she does is cute and childlike.

Quick to respond I almost spouted off something extremely rude, but I stopped myself.

I hated to, but it had to be done.

There is a girl in my class who not a lot of people "like". She's smart, outgoing, but she exudes the "so nice I have to hate" kind of quality that gets under people's skin. I almost said something so rude about her that I swear if I said it out loud it would have to be listed in the Most Tacky Things of 2010.

But, then again I didn't say it. And I won't. It's not worth it, nor will it ever be. Maybe by censoring 15% of the horrible things I say will make me into a good person? Maybe not. But I don't plan on burning any bridges today, and I'm pretty sure I just gained +10 life experience points.

In which my sneer gathers the opposite reaction

For some reason that is beyond me, people like my rudeness.

Or to be honest, not my rudeness, but ME in spite of my blunt personality.

It's quite the puzzler.

Maybe they think I'm funny?

Idon'tcare-itis

After spring break everything starts to wind down.

Teachers are pulling the reins tighter and the students are doing everything to slip out from under the control and pressure and into sweet, wonderful freedom.

Spring Break and I have a love/hate relationship. I love the time off, but I hate how it's a teaser for what summer is going to be like.

Coming back to school isn't the issue, it's finding the motivation to make myself focused enough to last the rest of the year. I find myself not being able to concentrate in Chemistry class, sometimes I take extra long on work that would usually only take me a good 10 minutes.

Ugh. Right now I'm trying to do my best to stay focused. I need to stay at the top of my game. It's imperative that I do. But I'm so antsy. Summer, where are you?

I need to start caring again!

P.S. I think it's a sign of the apocalypse that my math grade is actually pretty decent this marking period. Ack!