Friday, July 31, 2009
Mind you, it was just my parents, my baby brother and I, so it was a lot easier to keep track of everyone.
We went to the TownEast mall, and even though most of the cute little boutiques they used to have are gone, they still have some pretty kick butt stores that aren't at my pitiful little mall such as Charlotte Russe, Forever 21, Vans, and so many other stores...
What I would do for a Charlotte Russe.
But before we got to scope out the mall, we walked 25 ft into the building and my dad was ensnared by a diva like asian lady to get a massage. It was a 25 minute massage, so we all just sat there for 25 minutes while my dad got a massage. Beware of those little asian masseuses.
Tomorrow, and not today I'm going to be at my moms house. We called today and she was like, "Come over tomorrow, it's late and I'm tired, and you're sister isn't home yet."
So of course I'm happy that I get one more night to sleep in a decent bed.
Oh well, at least I'll have some decent reading material. We visited one of the local indie book and music stores and he bought me a primer book of Postmodernism. Michel Foucault FTW!
He also bought me a super awesome new sketchbook... which will be filled with awesomeness.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tomorrow I might be going to Dallas, or I might not, either way, I'm going to have to miss my shift at the Library...
Tomorrow, I'm also going to my mom's house to spend a few days. Let the screaming and fighting ensue.
I don't know why I have to go over there anymore, because honestly all it does is put me in a bad mood, and wish that they had cable.
Who knows, maybe my mom will try to buy my love, and it won't be so bad....
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Overall, it wasn't too bad because I spent most of my time with the horses, and getting to know them. The guy who owned the farm was super nice, and everyone called him Tito Charlie (uncle Charlie in filipino) even though no one was related to him. I helped saddle three of the thirteen horses there, and got to ride two of the horses.
One horse, which was a palomino hadn't even been broken fully, and no one wanted to ride it, so that's the one I rode. It was a bit dangerous riding him because he was so free spirited, and at times very stubborn. It took a lot of time, but after a while the horse started to get used to all the normal commands. At times, I was a bit worried because the horse would keep going after I pulled on the reins for it to stop, but after a lot of "WHOA. STOP!" s and more training it got better.
All of the other girls there were too wussy to ride the horse. To be quite honest, I couldn't stand talking to anyone there other than Tito Charlie, my family, and the horses.
The girls that were there talked mainly about stupid stuff, like getting married, and how they found the perfect wedding dress, and guys they thought were gross.
The whole time I was just like WTF? Why are you talking about getting married?! You're only a year older than me, and you guys have never even had a boyfriend, kissed a guy, or gone on a date!
They looked at me with disdain and a bit of disgust when I mentioned that I would like to be out of college, and be settled financially before I ever decided to seriously even consider getting married. After about 10 minutes of talking to them, and listening to their getting married when you're young BS, I decided that those girls weren't worth the time, and I spent 95% of the 5 hours I was there riding the horses, and eating Halo Halo (a filipino desert).
Also, while I was there, I attempted to talk to my mom, but that didn't work out, so again, I spent time with the horses.
This is me and a really nice Buckskin, who sadly wasn't broken for riding, but liked to follow me around the farm. Hopefully when I come back I'll be able to work with her, and get her up to riding condition. Also, my hair was strait, but the rain and humidity totally killed my hair and made it curly :/
And there's me riding the stubborn Palomino, and my sisters and mom. It took a long time to get this shot because the Palomino did NOT want to stand still, and it took a lot of coaxing from me to even get it still enough to get this shot without it being blurry.
Monday, July 27, 2009
I don't know why, maybe it's because her family is nothing but a bunch of neat freaks.
We had planned on watching all three of the Star Wars movies with Luke Skywalker, but that planned failed because apparently we have short attention spans.
You know those fishies I have on my side bar now over there --->
Well I named them. Most of their names are pretty stupid and obvious, but oh well.
Blue = Walter
Green = AndHow
Yellow = Goldie
Pink = Pinky
Tan = Brownie
White = Whitey
And Pinky and AndHow have like this secret relationship, and almost all night we were narrating their nonexistent digital lives, yelling out stuff like "Pinky!!! Come back!!" and stuff.
I have a stomach ache from the coffee, because I didn't eat anything, but I'm not going to say anything to Bekka while I'm at her house.... which I'm at right now, doing this post. She can't read it till I go home.... It's just weird if she read it while I was here.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Especially since I'm quite infatuated with Anderson Cooper. I know, I know, what kind of weirdo searches for themselves on Bing? Well I do, because I want to know what's going to show up if anyone else decides to search my name. So far, this blog is safe, and hasn't shown up on any search related to my real name.
However a few things from my debate record did show up! Yay! The internet acknowledges my existence!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Today, after waking up at 10am I quickly made myself useful by making hummingbird juice. Do you know how much juice a little hummingbird can drink?
Friday, July 24, 2009
Liking a guy for more than a few weeks is rare because I tend to analyze the pros and cons of the person before I actually have a relationship with them.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
At the library today there was this girl who was complaining about her life, and how she had few friends and such because of all the drama and such going on with her and a lot of girls. Personally, I think drama is just so pointless, because at the end of the day you're exhausted, you hate everyone, and everyone hates you. It just serves no purpose, and accomplishes nothing.
I brought up the subject with my stepmom she said that it was normal for their generation. She said that with the media, and all the celebrity influences they were going to be the Drama generation. I commented on how that sucked, and she just mentioned that it wasn't as bad as my generation, which apparently is the Lazy Generation.
Also, she said that we're the age group that people hate to hire because of the fact that we are so lazy. Is this true? Are we really that lazy?
However, being lazy isn't always bad. Being lazy just makes you inventive. Acronyms are born out of the want to not type out long words. Just look at the iPhone. You can google something, then call your friend to tell them what you googled, and not even move an inch!
From laziness comes slow progress because if you're lazy, you're going to want a shortcut. Or at least, I enjoy finding shortcuts. Heck, what are Segways? I'll tell you what they are: lazy transportation machines.
I would rather be a part of the Lazy Generation than part of the Drama Llama Generation. Degrassi? Puh Lease.
Leave me with my computer that can not only make phone calls, but can also re-enact the fall of Enron.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Yesterday I saw a two baby goats, a baby donkey, adult donkeys, about 0938740923 cows, chickens, and lots of doggies.
Oh yeah, and a rescued horse.
I love animals. I think they're so cool, and I've always found farm life charming.
Monday, July 20, 2009
I come from a sheltered Independent Fundamental Baptist background. I haven't shared this with too many people, because honestly it's difficult to talk about. However, I feel like I just needed to share and type this.
“Longview Baptist Temple has been highly criticized over the years by non-members and ex-members of the church, and has been accused of being a cult or ‘abusive church’ based on various definitions. Some accusations include that of seemingly absolute control over the congregation by the leadership, in addition to a projection of ‘infallibility’ in regards to the senior staff and members already in good standing. It appears that this is, in fact, taught by the pastors and leadership. The church has been accused, among other things, of locking the main doors to prevent members from leaving during services, taking children back to the church to be baptised without parental consent and using various shock tactics. For example, brandishing a firearm on one occasion to flush out ‘communists.’(source)
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I can't count how many times I've freaked out and just went crazy because I felt like I had too much on my plate and couldn't handle everything. My parents expect me to be mature and grown up. My mom expects me to be the best of the best so that later on in life I can support her. My sisters expect me to not make mistakes, to clear the path, and be there when they need someone older by their side. People in general expect me to be polite and kind for no reason what so ever. My grandparents expect me to live up to my potential. My friends expect me to be there and understand.
Ugh. There's a reason why I don't expect much from people, and it's just because if you don't want much, you're not disappointing, and when you get more than the little you expect, it's always pleasant and happy-making.
Oh well. Now I'm just going to listen to some super rad and calming Sufjan Stevens. His music is best described as Baroque Folk Pop. I love it. My blog song is Chicago by Sufjan, and so far it's one of my favorite songs. Anyways, here are some samplers!!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
So ok, I saw Harry Potter and I'm finally ready to talk about it. I think I was able to watch the whole movie without one expression on my face, unless you count apathy.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Sometimes I just don't think she understands me, and the changing and going times. I enjoy talking to her about history, and America when she was growing up, but when it comes to world issues today, it's like she doesn't see both sides. It's aggravating, but I'm just going to keep on ignoring it, and keep on avoiding those subjects. SHE THINKS OBAMA IS A MUSLIM. Ok, I said it. Sorry, I had to get that out. She doesn't even say follower of Islam, she says Muslim or Arab, which is so politically incorrect...
OK, I'm going to let it go. Although, I will not let the fact that ALL socialism is bad. Without some socialism there would be no medicare/medicade and public schooling.
I think I'm going to quit this post while I'm ahead. My grandma is awesome, and I love her, but we just disagree. A lot.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Religion is always sticky and controversial. It is the cause of wars, strikes, and many different various conflicts. With any event in life that takes place individuals usually follow the simplest social contract: You have freedom as long as that freedom does not infringe upon another individual's freedom.
France of all places should acknowledge this. And Muslims who reside in the country should be given the liberty to wear what they want due to the plain fact that what they wear does not infringe upon anyone's liberty. Just because a Burka (burga) is worn and covers all of the body does not mean the woman wearing it is imprisoned. Most do it for religious purposes. To make someone choose between breaking the law, and following religious practices because of clothing is absurd.
[Sarkozy] said: "In our country, we cannot accept that women be prisoners behind a screen, cut off from all social life, deprived of all identity." (source)As most know, this is not true. Many Muslim women in France have jobs, families, and enjoy everyday daily activities. Although we may not agree with everything about their custom and religion, we must continue to respect it as long as it, again, is not infringing upon anyone else's liberties.
[Sarkozy then] added: "The burka is not a religious sign, it's a sign of subservience, a sign of debasement. I want to say it solemnly - it will not be welcome on the territory of the French Republic."(source)
Again, it is wrong to force someone to adjust their peaceful way of living and following their beliefs just because you think that their clothes are a prison.
The same way in which I think Mormons are ridiculous, I would never approve of someone trying to disband them and outlaw the way they dressed.
As long as they do not infringe on anyone else's liberty, let them dress how they please, even though it may seem absurd to others.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Forget Twilight, and every other novel on the planet because let's face it: This book is one of the most widely excepted pieces of literature since the nutrition label on food stuff.
I'm hoping the movie will be as impressive as everyone has been playing it out to be. Even if it sucks as bad as the last one(compared to the book), I'll still probably manage to watch it at least 5+ times.
Midnight Showing FTW!!
The only downside is that later on in the day I have to volunteer at the library...noooooo.....
Today is my grandma Pat's birthday. She is 63, and if my grandpa were alive he would be 88. Quite an age difference right?
My grandfather went through two wives before settling down with my grandma as the charmed third. I now see that I'm not crazy in liking older men because it runs in the family! Heck, I get everything but my skin tone from them, so why not this?
According to everyone who knew my grandma when she was in her roaring 20s, she was a "spitfire". Never afraid to complain, voice her discontent with anything, or point out what was wrong, she raised three boys--- the eldest being my dad.
Don't get me wrong, my grandma certainly still is a spitfire in my book, however I've been told she's calmed down a bit since the death of my grandpa.
She's a great person. As strong as ever, and a true example of what a mother is.
I'm spending the weekend with her, possibly even till Tuesday... then I get shipped off again to my other grandma's. I still need to find time to spend with mi madre.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
However, as hard as I try, my life seems not to want to cooperate with me.
At some point in the month of July I will:
-See the Harry Potter movie
-Hang out with Bekka for her Birthday
-Spend the weekend with my mom
-Spend the weekend with my grandma Pat
-Hang out with Celery
-Finish the giant baby head I've started to paint on my grandma's wall
-Finish painting everything else on my grandma's wall
-Call whatshisface, and hope he doesn't want to date, but instead just hang out
-Stop watching so many medical dramas (house, royal pains, grey's anatomy, etc) when I should be doing something else.
-Burn that mix cd I've been wanting to make since forever
First I think, ok, everything's planned! I can finally know what I'm doing without having to freak out about not being able to plan, because something might come up!
Then, SOMETHING COMES UP. My parents need me to do something. A family member's birthday I forgot. Someone died. Someone got pregnant. Stephanie peed her pants so we have to run home and get a change of clothes.
Is it too much to ask to keep everything solid? I feel like I never know what's going on, and I'm constantly going, "Huh? What?"
Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's just life in general. I wonder if anyone else's planning skills are as bad as mine.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Because I don't trust myself, because I don't trust this blog, I'm left with a giant jumbled ball of emotions that I don't know what to do with.
Sometimes it's not a matter of saying it, just saying it properly. In reality, I'm calm, I'm collected, and I'm typing furiously on a flimsy laptop keyboard.
Sometimes, I want to share about how insecure I am, or how certain people get under my skin. Sometimes I'm able to, and sometimes I'm not. When I'm not able to I simply bottle it all up.
Then someone does the tiniest little thing, and all of the things I bottled away come pouring out, making my reaction seem very irrational. This blog has helped with un-bottling, but still.
The idea of making this blog private comes to mind again, but then I realize once again, doing so will only make the bottling worse. Writing just for re-reading won't be as cathartic as it seems. I write because I want to be more open. Those that read this do it of their own will and are not forced to listen to me rant on and on in real life pretending to be sympathetic.
So I'm going to say what I want to say. New Girl: You piss me off. You're like the Bella Swan of my school, minus the whole vampire thing. You have managed to single-handedly turn the lives of my friends upside down.
I sit here and watch all the "damage" you've done, and I wish you would go away. Your company is not welcome, and life was a whole lot better before you came around. Also, I don't want to be told when guys I haven't seen in a while talk about me. It brings back all sorts of unwanted memories that mess up the balance of people in my life.
Go away, and leave my friends alone. That, or just pick one guy and stick with him. I'm tired of seeing all of my friends all torn up over not being good enough for you.
Monday, July 6, 2009
I'm happy to be back to my classes, and friends, and scared that this year will be too hard for me.
I've made goals to do better in Math, my weak point, and also to excel in Debate.
I'm so scared that our new teacher is going to suck and not let us go to tournaments. Ah, I really miss the good times when almost every weekend I was gone for a tourney, kicking butt and whatnot with my newfound speaking skillz.
I'm going to miss all the goofing around in class with the seniors, and getting out of as many classes as possible so I could just hang out in the Debate room with everyone.
Most of all I think I'm going to miss the love/hate philosophy of the team. At one point I hated at least half the team, but deep down, everyone was like family, and I'm going to miss all the fighting and teasing.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
That's what I have. I know a few individuals that would kill to have my "standard accent", but honestly I don't see anything too special about it. When I was younger, I had a hint of a Filipino accent, but my dad made sure that I grew out of it.
I've always liked guys with the soft southern accent. Nothing too deep, just a subtle little twang. Their accents remind me of a hot summer day spent sitting on the back porch drinking iced tea with lemon. Mmmmm.
However, I don't know why but I hate guys with New Jersey accents. They always make me think of dark thick haired Italian and Jewish guys wearing track suits and gold jewelry. Ick.
I don't know. I'm rambling. Don't even get me started on European accents. Oh my. Anytime someone from Germany or Britain comes to my average sized town everyone goes crazy with awe.
Insomnia has once again struck, and I am rendered awake, tip typing on this laptop.
I'm home from Oklahoma, with a few pictures and zero souvenirs. All I really wanted were some moccasins, and since I couldn't find any, I'm just going to make some myself. How, I don't really know, but I'm going to make some.
There's not much going on. It's pretty hum drum, yet at the same time very relaxing, and totally teen angst free. Tomorrow should prove to be slow also, with a trip to the grocery store as a high point, and maybe a run by the local Hobby Lobby, or some other manner of craft store.
I'm reading this book by Ned Vizzini called "It's Kind of a Funny Story" and it's quite good. I picked it up while I was supposed to be shelving books. I don't know why, but I always seem to find the best books when I'm suppossed to be working.
Anyways, Happy Fourth for those that live in the U.S.!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
I'll start at the beginning. Around 7am we had finally passed the last toll booth on Choctaw land, and were quite hungry after our 4 hour drive from Texas to Oklahoma so we stopped at this place called Harley's. At first we thought it was just going to be a plain Indian or casino restaurant, but it turns out that it was a New Orleans themed restaurant. I thought it was funny, seeing as how almost every summer I go down there, and the one time I don't, I run into it anyways.
After we finished eating, shopping for cabin supplies, and making numerous stops we headed out for a nice 10 minute drive up the hilly and winding area known as lake Tenkiller, which is named after the Indian family who originally owned the land. We pull up to the cabin, and lo and behold, the driveway is full of trucks, trailers, and cars.
It turns out that my Papa's brother Henry Lee and his Native American wife Betty were staying there. In fact, they were just about to leave for San Antonio when Carl Wayne showed up with his two kids in tow, so of course Henry Lee and co. decided to stay longer, leaving 1 spare room which is not enough to house my Papa and Grandma and I.
We had called my great aunt Francis who owns and pays for everything up at the cabin and she had said that no one was staying there at the time, but of course Henry Lee and co. didn't bother to call aunt Francis, instead claiming to have called someone else.
Later on I learned that aunt Frances was wondering why the electricity bill had doubled over the past month... well, thank good ol' Henry Lee and co. It turns out they've been living up there for a while without telling anybody.
Oh well. That's just people for you I guess.
At least I'm in a nicer situation in a hotel room than I would be up in the cabin. The cabin has no internet, or cable.
So far the trip has been nice, other than the fact that we're now having to unexpectedly pay for lodging, which in turn has caused our trip to be cut short by a day. Oh well. So it goes.
Random Oklahoma fact: There are far more bugs and spiders up here than there are in Texas. I would know. I hate bugs. And spiders.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
I don't live with my mom, so any time I do spend with her must be planned out, talked about, and negotiated about between my parents. No lie. If she gets a Sunday during a major holiday, then by golly they get Monday and Tuesday.
But I digress. For the past two times I saw my mom last week I've told her, "Mom, I'm leaving for Oklahoma on Wednesday, then coming back on Sunday." or, "Mom, I'm going to be out of town next Wednesday through Sunday. Don't call Dad asking to talk to me."
In addition to telling her about being out of town, I had asked her when she was taking off work at the hospital so I could come over for a few days to spend time. In fact, I've been asking her since the end of May, "Mom, when are you taking off work? I need to know soon so I can make sure I'm not going on any trips during that time."
Till yesterday I got no real answer on when. She called me yesterday and told me she was taking part of this week off for the Fourth of July and wanted to know if I could come over and spend time, and go to a few parties and filipino BBQ's.
Which resulted in this conversation.
"What do you mean? Why can't you come over? Do you have something planned with your dad?"
"No Mom. No. I told you yesterday, and the day before why I couldn't go. I'm leaving for Oklahoma on Wednesday."
"I don't understand, why are you going to Oklahoma?"
"To look at the Native American stuff Mom. I told you I was going to be gone like at least 5 times."
"Ok, but why can't you come to the party? I thought this would be a good time to spend time together."
"Mom, I TOLD you. Mom, I'll be in OK-LA-HOMA."
"The whole month?!"
"No! Just till Sunday. Is there any chance you can take some other time off work?"
"No, I already requested this time. Are you sure you have to go on your trip now?"
"Yes mom. It's already been planned and everything."
"Well I'm sorry sweetie, I just thought it would be nice to see you on Fourth of July, but I guess you can't come over."
"Ok Mom. Whatever. I have to go. I'll just visit one weekend or something when you're not working. Bye."
This isn't the first time this has happened, and as for the other times it has happened I've had to cancel my plans last minute in order to cater to her standards and schedule. However, I refuse to drop my plans just because she planned something without considering what I was doing at the time.
In the words of the white kid at my school who thinks he's black, "Homie, stuff jus don't fly like dat."
Maybe, next time instead of just telling her, I should send her loud voice mails, and spam her emails so she'll remember.